"Use All The Crayons!"

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"Crayons!" ... "Super Bowl!"

chrisrodell.substack.com

"Crayons!" ... "Super Bowl!"

Chris Rodell
Feb 10
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"Crayons!" ... "Super Bowl!"

chrisrodell.substack.com

• “Evan & Elle” Review (so far) of the week …

“Want to enjoy a light and fun read? My buddy Chris Rodell has come out with a story about a young lady in Heaven and a young man in hell who connect via social media. I'm about a quarter of the way through, but it's incredibly witty! It's lightly dark and irreverently reverent. You have to read it to get it...and have to get it to read it. It will make you smile.”

"Use All The Crayons!" is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

— Dan Galbraith, Greensburg, Pa


• “Blog Post of the Week…

“Happy Valentine’s Day to me & my Parkinson’s!”

Comment of the Week …

“As the daughter of a Parkinson’s “victim” this was a fantastic read. I guess it’s true when people say, “attitude is everything “. Keep it up, and continue to keep us all inspired and laughing until our bellies hurt.”


• Today’s Theme … “Super Bowl!”

• The greatest public misnomer involves announcers addressing crowds at things like NFL games as "Ladies and gentlemen." At any game of about 60,000 fans, there are probably no more than 120 ladies and 50 true gents. If they cared at all about accuracy, they'd say, "Welcome bitches, dudes and garden variety blowhards!” 

• The cumulative weight of the '78 Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers starting offensive line was 1,277 pounds. The five Philadelphia Eagles starters in those same positions today weigh 1,994 pounds. Somewhere in this calculation is a solution to world hunger.

• I think my wife would be more receptive to romance if I'd stop insisting she dump Gatorade on my head after each successful coupling.

• Super Bowl prediction: Philadelphia 54, KC 47. Not the score. That's my prediction of the high temps in each town at kickoff.

• In honor of the preposterous NFL Super Bowl custom, it's once again time to share our  phone numbers in Roman numerals. Mine’s DCCXXIV CMLXI MMDLVIII. Call me!

• NFL should next year skip halftime show and instead have drug co. issue every American hallucinogens that last 32 minutes.

• We’re so used to them being linked in Biblical sinfulness but Sodom and Gomorrah were two wicked cities. They must have been fierce rivals. Imagine having to ref a high school football game between Sodom and Gomorrah. Talk about having to throw out the rule book.


Randoms …

• I enjoy asking the waitress at the family restaurant if she has chicken fingers and when she says yes, saying, "Oh, you're being too hard on yourself. Sure, they're hideous, but they still appear human.”

• If I were a geologist, I'd become famous by writing a scholarly paper declaring precisely when Mother Nature lost her virginity and describing in detail all the earthly consequences.

• Trying to explain the value of books to someone who does not read is like trying to explain the value of air to fish.

• I used to think I had a brain but it was all in my head.


All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com or simply call him at DCCXXIV CMLXI MMDLVIII

"Use All The Crayons!" is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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"Crayons!" ... "Super Bowl!"

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Chris Rodell
Feb 11Author

Thank you, my friend! That kind of reaction nourishes as much as any paycheck ever could. You da man!

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Jeff Page
Feb 10

I wanted to thank you for your wonderful work in "Evan and Elle"...What an entertaining, witty, smart, funny, and well written book. When I finished, I felt like there was a void for a few days, not getting to connect with all the amazing characters anymore. I've read five of your books, and you're batting a thousand in my book!!

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