Today’s blog post: “I mansplain the hidden virtues of mansplaining”
Today’s theme: “Heart”
Related …
“Matrimonial sarcasm for Valentine’s Day”
Heart
• Strive to be as romantic as the silver maple trees in Vermont. They can never be “too sappy.”
• With your sweetheart as a willing accomplice, sneak a bottle of wine, two glasses and a corkscrew into a long matinee.
• Never fail to include in your cards to newlyweds heartfelt congratulations and this sage advice for a long and happy marriage: “Always argue naked!”
• Always be open to romance, even when you’re tired. People who fake sleep to get out of lovin’ are bulldozers.
Heartburn
• I believe my sweetheart would be more open to romance if I didn't insist she dump a big bucket of Gatorade over my head after every successful boink.
• A long marriage is a terrific antidote to excessive ego.
• Even if it were true, I’d never dream of telling the world Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest and when Daddy comes home he never gets no rest.
Randoms
• As a student of history, it's my understanding that man has waged war over injustice, territory, greed, vengeance, pride, and even reasons as petty as national vanity. As a student of breakfast, I'm surprised man has never waged a war over bacon. I'd enlist.
• Quid pro quo is one thing for another. More alarming in a legal sense is eight things for another or the rare squid pro quo.
• I used to make prognostications but I was so wrong so often I predict it'll never happen again.
• I wonder where the strangers who appear in our dreams go when we're awake and if they sleep in that place and have dreams that include people like us.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com