Tweet of the Week
I wonder if any of the lifers in places like the Super Max prison have enough of a philosophical bent to ever challenge authorities when they order inmates confined to no-natural light cells to turn the clocks back an hour to conform with Daylight Saving Time standards.
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I don’t know why I feel so beholden to maintaining some regularity with this newsletter when the vast majority of those who check it out routinely turn deadbeat when a stipend of support is sought — and I say that with an honest heart and knowing full well that the very observation might cleave a chunk of readers away and say, “So he’s miffed I don’t pay for reading, let’s see how he likes it when I stop reading for free what I used to read guilt-free for free!”
But I enjoy doing these so I’ll continue irregularly posting whether you pay or not.
One thing you won’t get, boo hoo, is special recognition like the kind I hereby four darling readers:
“Special thanks to readers Jim Saunders, Todd Edmiston, and Eric and Lois Raphael for supportive and cheer-inducing gestures that let me know my work has value.”
Just like the majority most of my good-hearted readers.
— Videos —
This is maybe the most bizarre thing I’ve ever done — and I’ve written more than 1,000 stories for National Enquirer! It just goes to show once I get an idea in my head I must eventually liberate it.
• Here is the link to “Can Any Bunny Find Me Some Bunny To Love?”
• On a much heavier note … “It’s time America constructed a National Museum of School Shootings”
• Why There’s Never Been a Better Time to Live Suddenly”
Top Tweets as judged by me…
• Tough love is a cruel misnomer that allows impatient care givers an excuse to bully our most vulnerable even when that person spent the best years of their lives bestowing us with genuine love.
• It should be required by law that anytime anyone references the 1982 hit “It’s Raining Men!” the nearest bystander must describe it as a “real mansoon!”
• Calling our mortal passages the “Circle of Life” is cruelly misleading. It hints we’re entitled to smooth, seamless transitions. If only. We are all at the mercy of brutal, unpredictable stops and starts that last for durations over which we have no control. It’s the “Trapezoid of Life.”
• I was raised in Sunday School that the Middle East was for spiritual reasons called the Holy Land. I still refer to it as the Holy Land but for different reasons. After centuries of unfathomable hatreds, bombs and bullets, everything there has a hole in it. Even the worshippers. May God (or Allah) save the Holey Land.
• It’s high time we re-define the meaning of the word “demean;” which now means to ridicule, mock or diminish. With the addition of the handy hyphen, it should mean the exact opposite. To de-mean should mean to strip a nasty person of their meanness. Example: “After the intervention, she agreed to let three friends demean her and they were so thorough even her husband agreed to take her back.”
• Some people see Bruce Springsteen and wonder if he’s a treasonous scoundrel intent on impeding America’s will. Others see him and wonder if he’s the essential patriot America needs at what they perceive is America’s darkest hour. I see Bruce Springsteen and wonder how long it’s been since he felt compelled to set out a tip jar.
• You can tell by its nickname —Bigfoot (yawn) — that early promoters knew nothing about what drives the American public. Had I been involved this sentence would be common among enthusiasts: “Yeah, sure, we saw Bigfoot — Big whoop. But I shall not rest until I get a good, long at either BigBoobs or BigPenis!”
• Heartbreak is a sadly common human condition. What you never hear about and what is even more widespread is a condition that can best be described as heart sucker punch.
• People are critical of hoarders and those trying to make an indecent profit off their stash, but to me it makes perfect sense. The biggest assholes are always going to need the most toilet paper.
Oh, Christopher. You aren’t getting older … I mean, you’re not just getting older, you’re getting better. More serious topics for your jokes (is that the right term?), but what else are ya gonna do when the natural glow of everyday life and things in which we trust are being upended on the daily. As far as “In God we trust” goes, not all that evident in most people. As my father used to say, “In God we trust; all others pay cash!”