Scattered & Random -- just like life!

Now, where were we?

Oh, that’s right. I was here complaining about the gulf between the reaction to my stories and books (over-the-top positive) and my inability to earn any dough (chronic, exasperating).

Perhaps that’s about to change …

• How sizable would the yard sale be if you had access to all the stuff enemies through-out your life told you to shove up your ass?

Did you see what I did there? I slipped one measly, unrelated tweet in there when no one was looking. Maybe that’s a good way to break up the content. Let’s try it. Let me know what you think …

• I sometimes ask myself if I drink too much. I usually say no. I do this out loud and using two different voices like I'm on stage.

I’ve recently drawn interest from several successful business men who have asked me to write their life stories. It is for me, serious money. My intention now is to get a strong finished product I can show to other men and women who are eager to have me tell their stories. It could be a game changer. I’m working on one now and am near a working agreement on another.

• Any time anyone tells me I'm good listener I want to say, really, I'm just good at smiling and nodding, but all I do is smile and nod.

Praise for my new “Things That Suck” book continues to blow me away. Makes me giddy. Want one? For now, you can only get them through me. I’m going to wait until I’m in the most advantageous position possible before I let it loose. So these early copies are precious. How much? Suggested “donation” is $25, but really, this book is priceless. I put my heart and soul into this one. You’ll see that and willl later feel bad that you didn’t give me a $100.

• The full scope of man’s well-intentioned folly will be revealed at the posthumous release of a selfie of a wildlife preservationist wearing a “BEAR WITH ME” T-shirt taken seconds before he is mauled by a Grizzly wearing an “I’M WITH STUPID” shirt.

Thanks to all those who helped me bullseye the $7,500 donation goal I set for myself when I launched a “Go Fund Me” drive clear back in February. This was a pivotal influx of ready cash at a crucial time in the birth of my book. The cite is still active, so if you have been meaning to donate, I’ll be grateful for your support. Your readership, too.

• Studies show 72 percent of Americans don't get enough sleep. I question the validity. How do they find researchers capable of staying awake long enough to secure the finding? Put me in a room and tell me to study a sleeping man and, guaranteed, I'll be sound asleep in 2 minutes. I'd like to see a sleep study about the sleeping habits of people who conduct sleep studies.

I’m having people urge me to make this newsletter more about my battles with Parkinson’s. It’s advice I resist for several reasons. One, because it’s not much of a battle. It’s more like the winter and spring months of 1939 when German and French troops were warily eyeing each other up in advance of bloody hostilities, a time someone witty dubbed “The Sitzkreig.” That’s kind of the stage I’m in with my Parkinson’s. I believe I’ll be in for one hell of a fight, but who the heck wants to watch me doing calisthenics in preparation for game time?

• Being "left to their own devices," once a stinging form of social shunning, is now the preferred human activity.

If I wrote about anything health-related, it would be my foot. Yes, after 3 operations over 2 1/2 years I still feel pain with every step. I’ll not utter one word of complaint believing as I do that we all must deal with the hands we’re dealt. I vow to do so even when my hand is my foot.

• My failures have been so persistent my delusions of grandeur have become delusions of mediocrity.