Spring randoms
amid thoughts on books, reviews and if horses can ever be gay
• Week’s Best Flattery comes from Kara Baldwin, Small Business Consultants in San Antonio, Texas. After reading "How To Deal With The Stuff That Sucks," she said,
"Happy to help spotlight you, Chris, insightful, fearless, and one of the most brilliant, hilarious voices out there.”
Thanks, Kara!
• Week’s Best Tweet:
I love the Derby because it's the only sporting event where bitter white supremicists will openly root for a black participant. Ironic that no one plays the race card in the only sporting event where every patron upon entry is handed a race card.
• Overlooked Horse Racing Story of the Week (from ’12): “I suspect Ann Romney’s Horse is Gay.”
Excerpt: “And I know it’s insensitive of me to judge any being simply by how it looks.
And I know it’s insensitive of me to judge any being simply by how it looks.
But the horse is certainly flamboyant and behaves like a direct equine counterpart to many of the exuberant gay people I wrote about here on the day last month when my family and I wandered right smack into the middle of Pittsburgh’s Gay Pride Parade.
But there’s an old saying: if it walks like a gay duck and quacks like a gay duck, then chances are it’s a gay duck.
• Still looking for that one or those several donors to put me over the top on my Go Fund Me page. Want to support me at this crucial time (printing books is not cheap)? Make your donation right here.
Today’s featured topic … RANDOM!
• I sometimes ask myself if I drink too much. I usually say no. I do this out loud and using two different voices like I'm on stage.
• A woman decides with in 5 seconds whether or not to have sex with a man? That's a lie. I've been married 20 yrs & my wife's still not sure.
• I wonder if there are any bell & whistle stores that boast they sell bells & whistles with all the bells & whistles.
• Just realized: For the first time in my life, I can probably beat Arnold Palmer at golf - but he'll still have to give strokes.
• Some succeed by digging deep holes in the Earth to remove precious metals. If I ever succeed it’ll be ‘cause I’ve dug many shallow holes & planted seeds.
• In the future, "stupid" will be spelled "stoopid" so we can add additional "o's" to illustrate the degree of stooopidity.
• Just occurred to me: Elvis Presley & Arnold Palmer will be seated near each other if there are homerooms in heaven.
• Ideas about how to advance more quickly through lines are queue tips.
• Saw an incongruous scene at Steeler game. Native American Indians in ceremonial dress dancing at scoreboard pavillion. #Yinzdians?
• In order to ease passenger nerves, I propose airlines hire only pilots named Landon so it'll sound like: "Your pilot today will be landin’"
• It’s your past. Make it as colorful as you wish. I say I put myself through college working as a male stripper.
• How sizable would the yard sale be if you had access to all the stuff enemies through-out your life told you to shove up your ass?
• A gym beam requires steady footwork. A Jim Beam isn't nearly as fussy.