In honor of Donald Trump coming to Latrobe-area (county fair grounds), here are a bunch of stories and observations bashing Trump.
• “Trump should concede and move to Latrobe” (Nov. ’20)
• “Trump in Latrobe; Aunt Millie’s gone nuts” (Sept. ’20)
• “On July 4, my response to decorated officer’s claim I’m un-American” (July ’21)
Random Trumps
• Trump’s incessant focus on others' looks leads me to believe he's the world's only narcissist who's never gazed in a mirror.
• Are minions uni-racial or are there dark-skinned minions behind some wall built by a Trump-like minion?
• News story that says Trump has license to carry means I hope we can one day see news story that says Trump's accidentally shot his off his own penis.
• Next time you have occasion to heartily sing "God Bless America" which groups will you in your mind parenthetically ask God to exclude? White bigots? Welfare moms? Pro-Trumpers? Immigrants? Former FB friends you can no longer stand for political reasons? 'cause we're all in there.
• How many of you would take a pill that would prevent coronavirus but had one side effect: It would completely & emphatically change your opinion on Trump. That is, if you love him, you'd now viscerally & vocally detest him. And vice versa. I'll bet most of you couldn't do it.
• Pundits saying Trump entitled to a victory lap; Fitness experts advise he take it on a very short track.
• Commentators keep pointing out how Aretha Franklin made President Obama cry during his inauguration. Big deal. I'll bet Trump does something twice a day that makes Obama cry.
• I may be misjudging the man, but I suspect every time Trump leaves the White House he steals a towel or two.
• The self-loathing true conservatives feel at supporting Trump must be akin to what dying vegetarians feel when they realize they’re about to turn zombie.
• I wonder how many times when other foreign leaders were talking Trump was thinking, "Man, I wish I were right now judging a beauty contest.”
• I know nothing about rigors/finances but from what I can discern about him cheerleaders at Trump U. must be smokin' hot.
• We should distribute phone numbers in order of importance. It’d be fun to watch Trump argue that he, not God, should be #1.
• If I were in charge of adding automatronic Trump at Disney Hall of Presidents, I'd have him admiring size of own hands during Lincoln speech.
Did you miss the lovely page 1 Latrobe Bulletin story about me and my new book? You can check it out here.
Want to read an e-preview version of “Evan ‘n’ Elle in Heaven & Hell?” For Free? I’m eager to have a bunch of reviews ready to go when the book launches at the end of May. I’m sending out finished drafts to any reader who wants one. No obligation. My hope is that readers will write even a short review for amazon, but it’s not expected. storyteller@chrisrodell.com
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Coming May 25, because what is the world right now clamoring for, if not …