"Use All The Crayons!"
Elections! Elections! (and some other stuff)
Hello friends!
Here is something old/something new. I urge all my readers to accept the results, take steps to heal our nation and resist all impulses to commit a criminal act against the person or property of the homes on the other sides of the hedge. You know the ones. The ones belonging to the family that used to have you over for dinner before they saw you put that MAGA yard sign out front
Election blog post, an Election Day tradition: “America’s last undecided voter … Me!” I encourage you to give this a read — then do it! They can’t arrest you in the voting booth for being deliberate. Stay all day. You’ll have a great story to tell.
New (er weekold) podcast! “Arnold Palmer (from the waist up)”
New (hours old) podcast! “Election! Election! (and a story about America’s serial killer bar”
Today’s topic is … Politics
• I’m good friends with about 20 true morons and it absolutely infuriates me their votes count just as much as mine.
• The revulsion true conservatives experience over feeling compelled to vote for Kamala Harris must be akin to what dying vegans feel moments before they turn zombie.
• Just voted! My first early vote ever. Very satisfying. I wrote in the Rodell-Rodell ticket for 2048. And they're already ahead! (picture of our daughters, ages 16, 10).
• I encourage all Americans to vote tomorrow! And drink, get laid, smoke some weed and do something to calm the hell down. We're all obnoxious.
• This election is convincing me the first time many Americans will believe in science is when it is applied to the lift-off that takes them safely away from this planet which through their neglect and indifference has become an uninhabitable cinder.
• It wasn't until 2001 that all Pennsylvania bars were allowed to serve alcohol on Election Day. Can you imagine having to go through a day like this sober? Such wanton cruelty.
• I know everyone is invested in bigger problems right now, but as a stickler for accuracy isn't it about time we began referring to the House of Representatives as the Room of Representatives?
• It should be in the Constitution that nobody should be allowed to hold elective office unless he or she can prove they once held a job that required them to wear a name tag.
.• Divided country meant no matter who won election, Friday's swearing-in was destined to become a swearing-at.
CLOCK
• Because fickle publishing industry insists it is looking for timeless books, my next novel is going to be about a broken clock.
• I used to think they were called the wee-wee hours because they were the clock's smallest numbers. As I age I'm becoming convinced they're called the wee-wee hours because it's when many adults get out of bed to wee-wee.
• Must be tough being a tour guide at Big Ben. They work 'round the clock.
• Any boss who, frankly, doesn’t give a damn why today you’re late for work is a Clock Gable.
.• I covet the grandfather clock at the place we're staying. So much I've thought of stealing it. But it's big, it's heavy and moving it would be a lot of work. I think I'll just steal a watch. I'm but a small time thief.
Check out the new (er month-oldwebsite) All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com