• It’s okay to have a massive ego. That means if your teenager is silently texting in the car you’re driving, go right ahead and think she’s informing friends, “My Daddy is the greatest!”
• Many dads are criticized for being helicopter parents, always hovering. Understand, it’s okay to every once in a while be something of a sidecar parent, just along for the ride.
• Understand, the name causes some confusion among those casual about Egyptian folklore, but most mummies were daddies.
• Wonder if Jesus and God do anything special for Father’s Day.
• I’m like most dads in that I'm not without my faults. I make mistakes. I screw up. I'm a flawther.
• Told daughter she's growing up too fast and wish she'd just stay 7. She said, "Dad, I'm 9." I told her she's such a disappointment.
• Told daughter if she thinks I look embarrassing in my dad jeans I'll just next time pick her up at school wearing my dad Speedo.
• Not sure if it makes me a bad dad or an efficient communicator, but I didn't engage in attentive fathering until my kids were old enough to get the jokes.
• I admit to feelings of wistfulness over not having sired a son. These feelings pass when I realize a son would by now be asking me, "Daddy, would you help me secure my man bun?" And to my everlasting shame I'd feel obliged to assist.
• Otherwise great Chincoteague beach vacation marred only by incident initiated when kids asked if they could bury me in sand. Sure. I'm game. But when they had me completely immobilized, the little bastards stole my shoes & wallet. I should've known better. They weren't my kids.
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