"Use All the Crayons!" ... (Back to) School
Back-to-School blog post of the week … “How to Make Friends”
Share this newsletter right now with a friend who could use a laugh (I’ll try and make it funny!)
Read the 32/35 5-star Amazon reviews of “Evan ’n’ Elle in Heaven ’n’ Hell then get in touch about getting a signed copy of your very own!
Come to Latrobe this weekend for The Great American Banana Split Festival. Here’s my ’14 story about how the first one simultaneously featured a great American bank robbery.
TODAY’S THEME … (Back to) School
• Coaching 9-year-old to say anytime she sees grade school kid picking nose, "There's a farmer in the booger barn!”
• Will future high school history robots think human predecessors were plucky or just victims of poor design?
• “Godspell” is a popular theatrical production. “Spell God” is a statement that will get public school teachers into trouble with the ACLU.
• We’re so used to them being linked in Biblical sinfulness but Sodom and Gomorrah were two wicked cities. They must have been fierce rivals. Imagine having to ref a high school football game between Sodom and Gomorrah. Talk about having to throw out the rule book.
• I believe 50 percent of the women and 80 percent of the men we encounter in our daily lives are simply older, less cheerful versions of the juvenile spastic morons we all were in high school. Proceed accordingly.
• The abundance of today's school activities for our daughters coupled with my habitual days of hooky means I'm now spending more time in high school now than when I was in high school.
• I’d like to have been a fly on the wall to hear what His high school guidance counselor said when the teenage Jesus told him God said He was going to be the Savior.
• I used to pretend I was too sick to go to school. Now, I pretend I'm not hungover nights after I swore to wife I wouldn't drink too much.
• Facebook is like what happens in junior high school classes when the teacher leaves the room to sneak a smoke.
RANDOMS …
• It’s often said of snowflakes no two are ever alike, but what about popcorn? Needs further study. Too bad I eat most of my popcorn in dark.
• Which is the greater cultural irony: Roger Daltry still singing, "Hope I die 'fore I get old," or Madonna still singing, "Like a Virgin?”
• I have to imagine the swear box in Hell is always full, but what sorts of public improvement projects get the proceeds?
• I wonder if anyone in the Lewis & Clark expedition ever complained about things like being lactose intolerant.
• Toy mermaids must have doll fins.
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All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com