"Use All The Crayons!"

Christmas themed!

• YouTube of the Week #1 (1:13): “Fred Rogers’ best & easiest to remember quote"

• YouTube of the Week #2 (0:17): “The fine art of knowing precisely when to quit”

• Christmas Throwback post of the week (from ’15), "The divisive Paul McCartney Christmas song"

• Blog post of the Week: “Why I never tell people I went to HS in Mt. Lebanon”

• “Evan & Elle” Review of the Week …

“This book was hysterical loved the endless amount of characters in both heaven and hell! I could not put the book down once I started. I only had to stop to explain my laughter to others around me:) I really hope this is how heaven really is and as far as hell I hope I don’t find out! The music would kill me!! Love love love!!!!”

If you’ve read the book, please add your amazon review to the 25 out of 25 5-star reviews. I’m told I need to get 50 reviews to start getting attention from amazon marketers. It need not be more than two words. Heck, one will suffice — “Brilliant!” “Hysterical!” “Boffo!” Or you could strive to be enigmatic — “Taco!” “Zamboni!” “Parchment!” Anything will do.

Seasonal Randoms …

• The Christmas season inspires so many questions: Was the virgin birth real? Is Jesus the true son of God? Will there ever be peace on Earth? I have a question: How did Charlie Brown ever get that sweater over his huge bulbous head?

• I wonder if it ever bothered Jesus his birthday was the same day as Christmas.

• Christmas morning convinces me of the need for a used storage container shop. You could call it "Has Bins!”

• I never dreamed I'd enlist in the War on Christmas, but a line has been crossed and I'm now on a mission to cancel a traditional Christmas carol for its blatant assault on heterosexuality. "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas ... Make the Yuletide gay?" Make it gay? The only sexual orientation Y.T  should be coerced into adopting is the one with which it feels most comfortable. If Yuletide were my kid, I'd encourage it to make up its own mind on such a personal issue. And I'd remind it, gay, straight, L or B, G or Q, T or 2, it will always be welcome in our home. Yule see!

• Conservative whites who become livid when wished Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas think blacks over-reacting about unarmed blacks getting murdered by conservative whites.

• In her restless quest to determine who has more omnipotence, daughter, (then 7), asked who has more elves: God or Santa?

• They seem like they’d be impossible to confuse one for the other, but Satan and Santa are one and the same to the careless typist.

• News reports of a local home being ransacked always make me wonder if the suspect is Santa, a man who runs with sacks.

• Still looking for the perfect stocking stuffer? Consider feet.

• Which seems sillier: a child believing in Santa Claus or an adult believing that Jesus Christ, a man whose ancestors were uniformly Middle Easterners, was a lily white dude. And would it hurt your faith if scholars revealed Jesus looked more like bin Laden than Ryan Seacrest?

Random randoms …

• I wonder if they teach asspiring proctological students to be rude and insulting. I mean, ripping folks a new one is an easy, hands-off way to double your business.

• Realizing a crucial part of my morning routine is a mess of inefficiency. Takes me FOREVER to get dressed. I think the problem is my superstition that it's bad luck if I don't put my socks on last. This is especially troublesome on the days I wear shoes.

• Given the geometric considerations of the circular dwellings, I marvel at how Eskimos during tough times ever make ends meet. How is it possible to cut corners when you live in an igloo?

• Because I'm convinced humanity is in a downward spiral of accelerating madness, I predict in 18 months startled doctors will reveal that 40 percent of males who've taken the Pfizer vaccine have inexplicably become pregnant.

• Anytime anyone asks you for an idea for the perfect stocking stuffer, suggest feet.

Author’s note …

Does anyone ever even read this?

I welcome your donations. Please consider supporting me with some tangible appreciation (PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650)

All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com

.