"Use All the Crayons!" ... Hair
Video of the week: “The 17 words everyone needs to be successful & happy (and how to lose a winter beard in 1:40. Click here
Have you missed any podcasts? There’s a treasure chest of all previous episodes at … www.ChrisRodell.com awaiting you
Podcast: “Joe Hardy and the splendors of Nemacolin.” Click here
Blog of the Week: “I shaved my head”
HAIR …
• I like that the uproar over FBI director's decision was made by a man with nice hair whose name is pronounced COMB-ee.
• Try and do at least one thing this week that will blow your hair back and allow you to say, “Wheeeeeeee!!!"
• The difference between a mad scientist and a merely angry one is all in the haircut.
• A mohawk is a colorful hairdo. A Moe Hawk is an irrationally angry bird that inflicts slapstick violence on a Curly Hawk or Larry Hawk.
• ”Hell to pay" is an expression that hints at eternal damnation. It is not to be confused with an absurd looking hair piece that becomes affixed to a bald scalp, also known as a "Hell Toupee."
• Before the great thinning, I used to be vain about my hair. Then for a while I was proud of my broad shoulders and trim waist. Then there were days I’d fancy that women admired the firmness of my dancer’s butt. Much has changed. It dawned on me the other day, the element of me I most want people to notice is that I wear nice shoes. Sad, isn’t it? What was once the whole package is now embarrassed about everything ‘cept what’s below the ankles.
• Come up with your own six-word biography. Try to match one of the best, by humorist and author A.J. Jacobs, who summed up his entire existence thusly: “Born bald. Grew hair. Bald again.”
• Amazing new shampoo promises to re-grow hair on bald heads. What happens when you pour some on your palms?
• Point out the medical irony anytime doctors diagnose bald men with hairline fractures.
• Aspire to one day be as happy as all the girls in the hair commercials. They make having really great hair seem utterly euphoric.
RANDOMS …
• If I were alive in the Zombie Apocalypse I'd call myself "The Dust.” Everyone knows zombies never bite "The Dust.”
• Scientists will one day announce they've developed animal herd made completely of bacon. Herd will become extinct 4 minutes later.
• Report says eye strain resulting from staring at devices at an all-time high. It's an appademic.
• I’d like to see a sporting competition to see who can smack/gouge/eye poke most dimwits. #MOElympics!
• I’ve consulted numerous atlases and topographic maps and it's all been in vain. Despite what you may have heard, there is no Moot Point.
Thanks to those of you who recently showed your support by sending cash or the equivalent to me at PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650).
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com