"Use All The Crayons!" ... Health Care!
"Use All The Crayons!" ... Health Care!
Reader Letter of the Week …
“Thank you for your wonderful work in ‘Evan and Elle.’ What an entertaining, witty, smart, funny, and well-written book. When I finished, I felt like there was a void for a few days, not getting to connect with all the amazing characters anymore. I've read five of your books, and you're batting a thousand in my book!!”
— Jeff P., Ligonier, PA
Nephew Letter of the Week …
“It should me no secret how much joy & life & goodness you have brought into this world with your life, thus far. I’m more than grateful & am better off for being fortunate enough to have you as a major influence in my life. And I hope this is the year one of your books gets into the right hands, goes viral & makes you fabulously wealthy!”
— Brad R., Port Angeles, WA
Roman Slaves (100 BC) Quote of the Week …
“Momento Mori,” (Remember, you are mortal); Slaves whispered this repeatedly into the ears of emperors as they were being cheered during victory parades.
Blog post of the Week … “”Bravo Bucs signing McCutcheon! Now sign Bonds & Ted Williams’s head”
10-sec. (related) YouTube Video of the Week …
Today’s theme … Health Care!
• If you see someone rushing through a subway or driving like a jerk, give the person the benefit of the doubt and stand aside. Who knows? Maybe you’ve just seen a doctor rushing to the hospital to deliver triplets.
• Point out the medical irony anytime doctors diagnose bald men with hairline fractures.
• Proper or not, some Latin words have corrupted meanings. There’s nothing hospitable about hospitals. Colorful people will help try to correct the problem by referring to them as docitals or discomfitals.
• Am becoming nervous about upcoming toe surgery. Told podiatrist I was getting cold feet. He said, "I can fix that." He handed me a pair of knee socks and billed me another $1,500.
Tell friends you unearthed a little-known regulation in government health care that requires ER docs mimic Billy Joel when they tell patients they’ve had a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack.
• Health tip: The fewer the ingredients, the better/healthier the food. For instance, apples are made entirely of apple.
• The doctor walked into the examination room and said, “Chris, how do you feel?' I said, “Doc, I just use my hands.”
• Hate to always be so PC, but shouldn't podiatrists begin describing the little toe of dark-skinned people as something other than”pinkie?"
• Here’s one the best brains at #COP26, guaranteed, won't think of: Hook every treadmill and exercise bike up on the planet to generators to produce the cleanest & greenest alternative energy known to man.
• To many users, prescription drugs are the wheels on all the emotional baggage that help them get through life’s airports.
• I never really thought about being a podiatrist, but I once repaired an Apple music device. I guess that makes me an iPodiatrist.
Randoms …
• I always feel like I'm really gettin' away with something when I watch a "Mature Audiences Only" program and the smart TV doesn't explode.
•The signs were all there: Newspaper readership plunging; Magazines folding; Libraries ditching books in favor of vids. I saw all this & what did I say: "I know, I'll become a writer!" Now we're left w/ irony of a writer who didn't read signs complaining about willful illiteracy.
• I never really thought about being a podiatrist, but I once repaired an Apple music device. I guess that makes me an iPodiatrist.
• I’d like to see a sensational trial where a Samsonite exec is accused of killing her boyfriend, a VP at Away luggage, just to hear crime pundits say, "There's still a lot to unpack, but I think we're looking at a real open 'n' shut case here.”
• Someone will one day identify an exclusively male condition in which men convince themselves they alone possess the virility and sex appeal to, if needed, re-populate the entire planet. These men are “egoTESTicle."
The ratio of people who tell me they really enjoy this newsletter and those who’ll actually do something to sustain it are about 5-to-1. Please add necessary balance to that lopsided equation with your donation … Today! (PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650).
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com
