"Use All The Crayons!" ... Historical Figures
• Apropos of nothing, here are the Rolling Stones doing a remote Covid-era (2020) version of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” most notable for the late Charlie Watts pretending to play drums that aren’t even there.
• Blog post of the week No. 1 … “My nearly two hours with world’s most sadistic barber.”
• Blog post of the week No. 2 … “Racing firetrucks to end boring parades”
• “‘Evan & Elle’ review of the week. This is particularly pleasing as it comes from an ordained Presbyterian minister: “Chris continues his humorous and creative writing talents with this surprising book about an affair between a woman in heaven and a man in hell. A Christian pastor myself, this writing project both fascinated and alarmed me. I can’t even say I really approved of the concept but there were times when I appreciated the good theological reflections within. I am not one who chooses to use fear to motivate people, nor do I believe God is cruel and will punish anyone forever. But this is not Chris’ agenda. He uses common notions of heaven and hell for his tale of Evan and Elle. If you love Chris Rodell’s other books, you should check out this bold writing venture as well.”
• Disappointing news of the week: A North Carolina gent wants me to talk at his event at Latrobe CC in late September. I sent him an Arnold Palmer book, which he loved. “In fact, I loved it so much, I ordered 100 copies from your publisher. I knew I could get a better deal if I went through them directly,” he said. Now, I earn my living truing to sell books. Selling 100 of them at $15 each is a good payday for me and is in no way gouging the customer. If you’re interested in buying 100 of my books — heck, if you’re interested in buying one of my books — please get in touch with me. Thank you.
TODAY’S THEME … HISTORICAL FIGURES
• Sure, George Washington was an inspirational leader and visionary for revolutionary liberty but I'll bet he can't drive like I can.
• This is how I imagine Nixon would look as staff tried to explain to him the how-to and point of the selfie (picture Nixon frowning).
• Little noticed reg in ObamaCare requires docs mimic Billy Joel when they inform patients they've just had a heart attack-ack-ack-ack.
• The assumption may be based on a flawed premise, but I have to believe if Moses had had to deal with fan selfie demands today we'd only be concerned with The Five Commandments.
• I’ll bet there are many days each week when Dick Cheney wakes up and is stunned to realize he's no longer President of the United States.
• So Bob Dylan releases a bunch of Sinatra covers and it's "tribute." I release "Grapes of Wrath" under my name and it's "plagiarism." #UNFAIR
• If I were in charge of adding automatronic Trump at Disney Hall ofPresidents, I'd have him admiring size of own hands during Lincoln speech.
• On this day in 1969, Fantasy Records released the Creedence Clearwater Revival song "Proud Mary." She's been rollin' on the river ever since. This leads me to believe not only was Mary proud, she was also quite buoyant.
• Commentators keep pointing out how Aretha Franklin made President Obama cry during his inauguration. Big deal. I'll bet Trump does something twice a day that makes Obama cry.
(This topic seemed fruitful, but I soon realized I was appallingly light on female POV items. So rather than scour for compelling items, this is where I pivot to randoms)
RANDOMS …
• Had a great family OBX vacation marred only by one incident initiated when kids asked if they could bury me in sand. Sure, I said. I'm game. But when they had me completely immobilized, the little bastards stole my shoes & wallet. I should've known better. They weren't my kids.
• It’s not uncommon to hear people say people suck. Don't you believe it. Try this: Walk down the street and smile at every stranger. Most every stranger will reflexively smile right back. They don't suck. Soon there won't be any strangers left and everyone will be smiling.
• It boggles my mind that in '96 multi-millionaires Johnny Cash and Tom Petty collaborated on an album called "Unchained." Imagine the cover possibilities had they called the obvious: "Petty Cash.”
• Ants eat sticks, dirt, decomposing bodies and even poop. My question: Which of their six arms do they use to comfort themselves when they get a tummy ache?
• I thought about taking my watch apart to count all the pieces, but just don't have the time to kill.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com