"Use All The Crayons!" ... Horses
It’s not the first of the last or the last of the first, but we are considering the 24th “Use All The Crayons!” podcast a sort of conclusion to the trial run. I think after 24 episodes we can consider the podcast a success. I’m really interested in hearing what you think so fire away.
Haven’t checked it out yet? All episodes can be accessed through this portal.
Tomorrow is the first Saturday in May and you know what that means … Kentucky Derby Day! And you know what that means … Wake up and blast the Rolling Stones playing “Dead Flowers,” the only classic rock song that mentions the Derby. This video shows the band playing it for all it’s worth and Jagger clapping about as fast as anyone can clap.
This is a popular story from way back ’09, back when people rode horses to watch horses race.
HORSES
• Point out that equine proctologists would never dream of looking a gift horse in the mouth.
• Next time you hear a reporter cite a police source swear you heard the reporter say a “police horse,” then hang in there and hope it’s a talking pony.
• Haven’t had so much as a cold in years. I'd say I was healthy as a horse if I could verify horses suffer from occasional hangovers.
• I don’t know which would be more fun to watch: a Kentucky Derby where all the jockeys weighed a minimum of 300 lbs. or a Kentucky Derby where there were no jockeys.
RANDOMS …
• I’m so busy I dream of working in a spice factory so I could have access to a thyme machine.
• Do brain-eating amoeba tell picky children it tastes just like chicken?
• As long as there are bugs/heat/noise, eating outside will always be overrated. In fact, outside is the reason years ago man invented inside.
• My soul aches for those who live under tyranny, but I feel even worse for those who reside in places so remote they can't get decent pizza.
• Because of the blatantly exclusionary composition of the mythical unit, I propose we henceforth spell harem, "herum." #arabianwomen
• I’d like to see a rock game show with Mick & Bruce that asks, "Who can say, 'Are you ready to rock?'" in most foreign languages.
• I’m such a reflexive pacifist the only thing I instinctively kill is time.
• I’m petitioning to get the town name changed to YerButt because it'd be funny to hear newscasters say, "A man was shot in YerButt.”
• The idea of car pooling the kids to swim practice strikes me as redundant, but maybe I'm just too literal.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com