"Use All The Crayons!" It's all Fall!
I wrote this in a moment of self-doubt. But I couldn’t dare betray I ever feel that way. So I instead made it a one-sided conversation about someone who writes books. Of course, it’s me writing about myself. It’s only 298 words so instead of risking losing you to LinkLand, I figured I’d post it right here …
Has this ever happened to you? Someone tells you they write books and you’re not sure how to react. Here’s a tip: Be very afraid. You’ve just met a person of ruthless determination.
That person stares down one blank page and vows, “I’m going to fill this vast emptiness with so much compelling and original thought that readers I’ve never met will not only absorb every word, but they’ll greedily want to devour every single page that follows.” He or she will repeat this process until he or she has vanquished the next 350 blank pages.
Don’t be fooled by the writer’s benign appearance. The writer is a mass murderer. He or she has silenced all the voices that nag, “You’re wasting your time. Your ideas suck. Why don’t you get a real job?” And these are just the voices the writer hears inside his or her own head.
The writer is relentless. Once he or she vows to finish the book, a grim single-mindedness takes root and the writer becomes impervious to distractions he or she mocks as frivolous. These duties may include things like childcare, residential upkeep and the relationships others consider so vital to mental well-being.
The writer is Messianic. He or she believes God ordains that the book must be written because its publication will lead to justice, understanding, social equality and MLB playoff games that conclude before midnight.
So show a little respect next time some stranger says he or she writes books.
Hell, there are things those writers could teach the aspirants to SEAL Team 6.
New podcast! "Getting tick bit in "sensitive place"”
New website! "www.ChrisRodell.com." It’s only taken me 30 years, but my website finally looks like it was made by and for an adult. Check it out! Explore! Buy a book! Wonder just what I’m doing with my hands behind the rainbow umbrella …
Fall …
• If Spring is when Mother Nature puts on her make-up, then Fall is when she starts climbing into her coffin.
• Because I'm an apostle of gross excess, I propose we have #Olympics once each year by adding Fall/Spring Olympics
• It reveals an unpleasant cruelty about myself, but I enjoy looking at pictures of tranquilized bears falling out of trees.
• This is the time of year married men begin to envy leaves. Leaves get blown at least once a year.
• I’m one of those guys who loves the sound of leaves blowing along the ground, but hates the sound of leaf blowers.
Randoms
• I read because I'm convinced the more I have in my mind the less I'll have on it.
• Seeing a vivid rainbow over Latrobe this morning reminded me of the Sunday school lesson that the phenomena was God assuring that everything's going to be all right. It's good to know on these days when so many feel truly godforsaken, like He's Holy Ghosted us.
• I’d like to one day report on malfunctioning picnic ware litigation so I could without exaggeration describe it as a real basket case.
• My fear isn't that when the robots show up they'll take over my job. My fear is that when the robots take over my job no one will notice I'm gone ... Wait. The whole premise is absurd. C'mon! Me? With a job? Who am I kidding!
• The Swedes must cleanup in the fish Olympics. I mean, who's their competition? They are the only nation that has organized their fish in the whole pescatorial realm.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com
Made my day again...Loved it...So awesome. You ARE a writer.