"Use All The Crayons! ... Movies
Video of the Week: A critic opined I use too many jumpy cuts in my cheesy promos. How’d I react? I filmed this 32-second clip that is nothing but jumpy cuts.
“Evan & Elle” Review of the Week
Quit wit, pop culture, and a cast of characters... to die for!
Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2023
“This is unlike any ordinary novel I have ever picked up. It is not a classic mystery or suspense novel, nor is it a typical romance. It is not a heavy read with profound material or one that will keep you flipping back to see who did what in the beginning pages. Rather, Evan and Elle in Heaven & Hell is a light walk through life (or the after life) with quirky, funny commentary. You know, the kinds of things you may think but would never say. Chris's quick wit had me laughing out loud. Also, the description of events and people, along with everyday annoyances and joys rang true. Countless times I thought, "I remember that!" And the people! Just think who would be where and who would help with what! Again, it had me laughing out loud. Chris was able to masterfully juxtapose our horrible realities here into something better... there. I hope he's right!”
Thanks CJK!
Let me be clear: There are no points or awards given for best review. I’ll take a 2-word review today over a beautifully constructed 300-word review. I mention this because a buddy of mine has been sitting on a review for 9 or so months Why? “I want mine to be the best,” he says. Again, in my eyes, one is not better than the other. But even a bad one at this point is preferable to nothing. It is my understanding, a book needs 50 reviews before Amazon starts to pay attention. So, please, file your reviews ASAP.
And, yeah, I’m talking to you, Kyle A.!
TODAY’S THEME … MOVIES
• ”Titanic" concluding now on AMC. I like the subtle irony of a movie where a painter gets framed and a woman whose name sounds like "ROWS" is hauled into a lifeboat and given an oar.
• Today I'd like to complain about the misuse of the term "movie star." With all due respect to guys like Brad, Leo & Johnny Depp, they do not star in movies. They appear in them. Now, Burt Reynolds. There's a man who starred in movies.
• Any boss who, frankly, doesn’t give a damn why today you’re late for work is a Clock Gable.
• If most men are being honest -- a big "if" -- we'd admit to seeing a lot of ourselves in Ken while aspiring to see just a little of ourselves in Barbie.”
• With so many superhero movies based on the mingling of DNA, I'm surprised they've yet to sketch an insect hybrid adept at calming Opie's fears, winning the Mayberry bake-off and putting the sting on Moonshiners. All hail Ant Bee!
• I know this is going to cause many people to label me as prejudiced, but to me they all look alike. They all sound alike, they exhibit the same behaviors, and it’s hard to tell one from the other. I'm not talking blacks, Jews, Chinese, etc. I'm talking superhero movies. Seen one, seen ‘em all.
• On this Father's Day, I confess to being uncomfortable watching racy movies with our daughters. I don't like excessive profanity. Violence makes me queasy. And I leave the room once the sex goes beyond the consensual dry hump. Fuddy-duddy? No. Fuddy-Daddy!
• Sure this all sucks, but #LookingontheBrightSide, it's sure to yield great movies and books for the survivors to years from now enjoy. Remember: without the global cataclysm of WWII, we never would have had "Saving Private Ryan.”
• I enjoy watching movies about people who would never dream of watching movies. I enjoy watching #CaptainFantastic
• I wonder if in heaven all the movies are G-rated because that's a potential flaw.
• I wish I were a famous Hollywood director so one day I could shoot a scene with Robert Redford driving a red Ford.
RANDOMS …
• If a woman starts a tit-for-tat fight with a man, doesn’t she begin with 2-0 advantage?
• Yes, I'm becoming more sentimental about the past. I don't apologize. I'd rather have my memories than your bucket list. There's too much focus on what's next, not enough on what is or what was. I pity those who remember only the future.
• I don't really care one way or the other but I suppose it's up to me to announce that tonight's Apathetics Anonymous meeting has been canceled indefinitely due to lack of interest.
• I wonder how much time Mick Jagger spends looking in the mirror and being amazed he still looks exactly like Mick Jagger.
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All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com
I thoroughly enjoy all of your "Use All The Crayons", but this one was off the charts! I really needed every one of these laughs today. Thank you, Chris, for being you.