"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter No. 2
Today’s edition: A rule is bent to honor Arnold Palmer; RIP Latrobe’s Mr, Christmas; and a 2013 Christmas blog post about the Christmas season I spent dressed as a department store Frosty attracting the affections of the pretty — and married — cosmetics counter girl; plus three colorful living tips, things to do in Mr. Rogers Real neighborhood, and what “birth quakes” means.
Colorful Living Tip of the day …
No. 895: “Anytime anyone asks you for an idea for the perfect stocking stuffer, suggest feet.”
Arnold Palmer: On This Day in …
1994 -- The Royal and Ancient Golf Club announces a special rule change that will allow Palmer one more appearance at the British Open when it returns to the Old Course in St. Andrews in 1995
Today’s Reason to Visit Latrobe, Mister Rogers’ REAL Neighborhood …
Our Fred Rogers statue looks like a Fred Rogers statue. It’s not a dinosaur in a cardigan. It’s not so textured internet meanies call it “mud monster.” It’s Fred.
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …
Birthquakes: The intense contractions that convulse a pregnant woman as she’s about to deliver a child; labor pains.
Days Until Pittsburgh Steelers Come To Latrobe for Training Camp: 218
Smalltown News
Larry Wilson loved to decorate for Christmas. When he lived in Harrisburg, his property was so lit up that he won second and third place in national Christmas light competitions.
“People called him Mr. Christmas,” his daughter Rachel Hill said. “He would stand outside and hand out candy canes to the kids.” Wilson, 78, died, Saturday, December 19.
What to do today in the Laurel Highlands …
Enjoy a Christmas tradition … for free! Be one of the first 50 carloads in line for Overly’s Country Christmas light display at the Westmoreland County Fairgrounds and the $20 admission fee is waived. Gates open at 5:30.
Wax the skis! National Weather Service is forecasting 7- to 10-inches of snow at Seven Springs and other Highland ski resorts.
Buy a country ham from Bardine’s, our award-winning smokehouse in Crabtree.
Colorful Living Tip II …
Buy a carton of your spouse’s favorite expensive ice cream, make a big presentation of it, and share a sample bite. Then, before your spouse can enjoy a real splurge, secretly consume or transfer the entire contents and place the empty box prominently inside the freezer. Watch for the outraged reaction. Better have a full spare hidden behind the frozen dinners, though.
Today’s post (from the past)
“The Christmas when romance (and me) were Frosty” (from Dec. ’13)
You’d think with a resume as skimpy as mine I’d seize on any past occupation to bolster my flagging prospects.
But I’ve never written about one full-time job I held in 1983 around this time of year.
My mother, who forgets what year it is, reminded me of it the other day when she asked me to tell her some stories about the time I was Santa. She was close, but I wasn’t Santa.
I was Frosty the Snowman.
Colorful Living Tip III …
Be curious about things like the net worth of people who make nets.
Oddly enough …
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Answer no in this small southern Indiana town and you'll be considered more than a Grinch: You'll be an obstacle to civic advancement. That's because the village of 1,800 merry souls is the only place in America officially named after St. Nick. Townsfolk are so crazy for Christmas every street is named in honor of the holiday, including Candy Cane Lane, Mistletoe Drive and Arctic Circle. Each December, the normally sleepy Santa Claus Post Office, ZIP code 47579, goes from handling 3,000 pieces of mail a day to more than 50,000. This Christmas alone, postal workers will help deliver more than 500,000 pieces of mail from all over the world. Santa Claus is also home Holiday World, named by Forbes Magazine as one of the top 10 must-visit amusement parks in the world.
The Page 1 “Crayons!” Pledge (still applies)
“The Book Is STILL Free”
That’s right. Free. Anyone who wants a copy mailed to his or her home, no charge, is welcome to one. Just ask.
Author Chris Rodell, of course, encourages you to buy it and hopes you’ll support him and the people who distribute, promote and sell books. But if you’re one of those Americans who are out of work and having a tough time, or if you know a US serviceman or woman who might benefit from a book that aims to brighten daily lives, then Rodell wants you to get in touch at storyteller@chrisrodell.com.
He doesn’t believe a book that, at its heart, aims to help people be happy should be withheld from anyone over a few dollars. “It’s said the best things in life—love, friendship, laughter—are free,” Rodell says. “I don’t presume this book is among the best things in life but, by God, there’s nothing to say it can’t keep good company.”
And finally …
“Crayons Tip no. 1001” …
“Learn the fine art of knowing precisely when to quit.”
About …
Chris Rodell is the author of six books, the most recent being “Undaunted Optimist: Essays on Life, Laughter & Cheerful Perseverance.” Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge says, “Rodell writes about life the way Sinatra sings about New York, unflinching about the gritty realities, but with abiding affection and relentless positivity abut the future.”
A swashbuckling freelance writer since 1992, Rodell has rassled alligators, raced Ferraris, jumped out of cloud-cruising airplanes and in one week gained 20 pounds eating like Elvis.
Besides unconventional biographies on Fred Rogers and Arnold Palmer, his other books include “Use All The Crayons! The Colorful Guide To Simple Human Happiness,” and “The Last Baby Boomer: The Story of the Ultimate Ghoul Pool,” a 2016 satiric novel about the life and death of the last baby boomer (winner of the ’17 TINARA Award for best satire).
He is a sought-after and entertaining motivational public speaker and as seen in this 2015 clip the recipient of the greatest author ovation of all-time.
Rodell lives in Latrobe with his wife Valerie, their daughters, Josie and Lucy, and a small loud dog named Snickers.
He’ll write for anyone who’ll pay him. He is a PROSEtitute.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com