"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter No. 50

Today's theme ... "Planet Earth II (and Sun)

Today’s theme: Planet Earth II & Sun

Colorful Living Tip of the Day …

• Anytime you hear reports of increased solar flare activity always grab a marshmallow and a really long stick and stand in the front yard with the marshmallow end of the stick pointed toward the sun. Tell curious neighbors you’re making solar s’mores.

Planet Earth & Sun

• Anytime I start thinking solar plexus is some exciting new kind of renewable energy, something in my gut tells me I'm wrong

• Family opted to sleep in on last day of beach vacation rather than get up early to see sun rise. I can't blame them. Popularity of watching sun rise will increase when it doesn't involve getting up at the crack of dawn.

•Which is older: Earth or Sun? Trick question: Earth is 4.5 bil yrs old. Sun only 1 day old. Sun cannot have another day til it has a night.

 • As way of both meeting potentially friendly ETs & getting while getting's good, I propose Earth erect a really big “For Sale “ sign.

• It may be a vast over-simplication, but couldn’t global warming be eased if we simply moved Earth farther from the sun? I think if we synchronized our pushups on one side of the globe while everyone on the other side jumped up in the air …

Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual  dictionary) …

Poperazzi: A Vatican City-based news reporter devoted to coverage of all papal doings.

Related blog post, “Stuff I’ll do if I become the Last Man on Earth” (from ’20)

I was wondering what I’d do if things take a bad turn and I wind up being the last man on earth, which was the premise of an often-hilarious Will Forte show (2015-’18, Fox) called, duh, “Last Man on Earth. ”That’s how it feels some days. I miss both the refined and the rabble. Here’s what I’d do assuming certain logistics left the joint reasonably functional and I become LMOE. It’d be petty and makes zero sense, I know, but the first thing I’m going to do is go around peeling Trump bumper stickers off all the cars.

(Full story here)

From Back A Ways …

“An apology, FEMA & true Acts of God,”

Coastal storm clean-up begins in earnest today. That’s when multi-millionaire homeowners who preach Tea Party self-sufficiency beseech FEMA for immediate aid. I posted that yesterday on both Twitter and Facebook to more than two dozen supportive salutes. Then, speaking of FEMA, disaster struck. A dear old friend of mine sent me a note saying I’d hurt her feelings. And, honest, to me that is a disaster…

(Full story here)

Concluding words …

• Do Flat Earthers believe there are upside down people on the flip side or that it's just a bunch of roots and shit?

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