Daily “Crayons!” on Instagram!
Today’s Instagram offering is a two-parter of me lip-synching to Elton John and “Rocket Man.” Click here — to get one “Colorful” clip per day.
Rejection Letter of the Day …
This was from a top Manhattan agent. I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Thanks for thinking of me. Your query is terrific. The premise is original, the writing strong; the humor is truly lol. But I'm overwhelmed with material at the moment and not really taking on new clients. Good luck!”
It’d be interesting to see a bio-rhythmic chart of the emotions I go through reading such heady praise followed by such a tart and abrupt rejection. It’s like it was written just to mess with Sasquatch.
I scrolled down and saw this was based on a pitch I’d sent June 4, 2020. It was for a now-languishing proposal for a non-fiction book I’m calling, “There’s No Business Like Shoe Business: The Story of How Man, the Only Animal to Spend 80 percent of its Entire Existence on its Butt or its Back, Also Became the Only Animal to Spend $79.9 Billion a Year on Footwear.”
Maybe it’s time to dust this one off. Probably not.
Feeling empathetic? Generous?
Today’s theme: Mixed bag
Colorful Living Tip of the Day …
• Become a squirrel trainer. Learn to sit quietly in a squirrel-filled park with a big bag of peanuts. Eventually, the nervous critters will overcome their jitters and snatch the nut right from your fingers. It may take all summer, and it may only happen once, but the delight will be worth it.
Relateds …
• To many users, prescription drugs are the wheels on all the emotional baggage that help them get through life’s airports.
• I’ve never seen a duffel bag full of duffels & I’m okay with that. If it ever happens I’d never again have the guts to peek in a handbag.
• Someone letting the cat out of the bag will become more impactful to me as soon as I start seeing more instances of bagged cats.
• Refer to grocery store clerks who are overly generous with inefficient and wasteful plastic sacks as being “bagnanimous.”
• After residing in it for several months, ask the people who just sold you their old home or apartment if they used to hide bags of money in odd places. If they say no and ask why, just smile and say, “No reason.”
Unrelated but relatable …
• Tell friends you’re feeling like a futurist. Predict the feeling will pass.
• Ask Satan worshippers if they resent being demonized or consider the designation a badge of honor.
• It’s not something you’ll ever hear marriage counselors say but many marriages wind up in a stalemate simply because they start out with stale mates.
• Try your best to get the grammar correct, but don’t be judgmental about typos from others or yourself. We’re all typing too much, too fast. Mistakes are bound to happpen.
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …
Mamish: Any group of mother figures who refuse to let their children play with electronic devices until they’ve done all their homework..
Related blog post, “My one-man neighborhood trash crusade …”
Carrying a plastic grocery bag with me on my daily walks is starting to become a habit. It’s happening frequently enough that my daughters said they’re thinking about getting me an orange jump suit so it’ll at least look like I belong to a prison work release program.
From Back A Ways …
“Small Talk/Large Results;” from Men’s Health, Feb. 2008 …”
Concluding words …
• Devise unusual new ways to infuriate little spellers. Tell them the sign out front means Olive Garden is turning to a beach theme. “See, they’re hiring surfers.” An exasperated moan is sure to follow when they see the help wanted sign reads: “Now hiring SERVERS.”