"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter no. 48

Today's theme ... "Memorial Day Weekend"

Today’s theme: Memorial Day Weekend

Bonus Zeitgust!

Moistard: The shaded, bun-soiling liquid that dribbles out the top of any condiment bottle before the spicy substance oozes out. Ex: “I forgot to drain the moistard and soaked the bun before it turned to mustard.”

Colorful Living Tip of the Day …

• Argue at holiday picnics how America could end world hunger if for just one summer everyone agreed to cease all competitive eating contests.


• One of the most cherished military maxims about always fighting the last war is dead wrong. There'll never be a "last" war.

• Even if you despise war for all its inherent inhumanity, you have to admit: The History Channel would be pretty boring without it.

• As a student of history, it's my understanding that man has waged war over injustice, territory, greed, vengeance, pride, and even reasons as petty as national vanity. As a student of breakfast, I'm surprised man has never waged a war over bacon. I'd enlist.


• I’m such an optimist that I hope if I do go to hell, it's in a hand basket. We could picnic!

• As long as there are bugs/heat/noise, eating outside will always be overrated. In fact, outside is the reason years ago man invented inside.

•  Ants eat sticks, dirt, decomposing bodies and even poop. My question: Which of their six arms do they use to comfort themselves when they get a tummy ache?

Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual  dictionary) …

Sortagree: How the majority of rational fence-sitting Americans feel if they’re asked to decide “Agree” or “Disagree” on any divisive issue.

Related blog post, “Memorial Day thoughts on war & great war movies” (from ’16)

Being born with a philosophical bent, I spend a good deal of time wrestling with the great questions of the ages. “Why are we here?” “What happens to us when we die?” Those are all topics for another day. Today, Memorial Day, I think I have an answer to a question that has puzzled great thinkers since it was first posed in 1970. The question? “War: What is it good for?” After much soul-searching I’ve come up with an answer. It is as follows: Without war, there would be no great war movies..

(Full story here)

Now & Then …

Now: Courtney Love rips new Pam Anderson flick

Then: I was in rehab with Courtney Love in ‘96

I still think of Courtney Love any time I’m doing a puzzle. I was doing one when we met. It was July 1996 and I tell the story now because I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations for my crimes that day have expired.  She’d been ordered to seek help there by producers of  “The People vs. Larry Flynt.” She was addicted to heroin and her drug-addled antics were disrupting the film. I’d been ordered there because I was at the time freelancing for National Enquirer and I was the nearest reliable nut-job who had a chance of getting the story..

(Full story here)

Concluding words (& Tweet of the Week!) …

• I plan on devoting tomorrow to conducting comprehensive study on marketing breath mints. I'll call it, "The Tactics of Tic Tacs.”


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