"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter No. 77

Today's theme ... "Drinkin'!"

Today’s theme: Drinkin’

Colorful Living Tip of the Day …

• A gym beam requires steady footwork. A Jim Beam isn't nearly as fussy.


Relatables …

• I enjoy hanging with drunks ‘cuz you can tell same joke same way five times in one night and it’s always hilarious. Not so w/sober wife.

• I was 50 years old before it finally began to sink in that, gee, I was drunk wouldn't cut it as an excuse for showing up in church nude.

• People say I repeat myself when I'm drunk. People say I repeat myself when I'm drunk.

• That twilight -- a halfway point of solar illumination -- is one of my favorite words compels me to use "twi" prefix more. "I got twidrunk last night but the missus became twihomicidal when I told her I was feelin' twihorny.”

• I’ve been drunk and I've been pretty and I've been pretty drunk, but never once when I've been drunk have I been considered pretty.

• One of the trickiest parts of being a father is advising teenagers about the virtues of abstinence and chastity when some of my life's happiest memories involve getting drunk and making out with total strangers.


Hangover …

• Haven’t had so much as a cold in years. I'd say I was healthy as a horse if I could verify horses suffer from occasional hangovers.

• I used to pretend I was too sick to go to school. Now, I pretend I'm not hungover nights after I swore to wife I wouldn't drink too much.


Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …

Sniveling rivalry: A childish fit between two unrelated grown adults determined to act like crybabies.


Related blog post …

“No. 1 Party Boy from America’s No.1 Party School” (August ’11) …

It’s probably because of my years at Ohio University I drink responsibly whenever I should and irresponsibly whenever I can. It’s a vast over-simplification to say, but the only thing I can recall learning with any clarity there from 1981-1985 was never mix Ouzo and beer. In the same glass. We used to do that all the time and, guaranteed, whenever we did someone was bound to lose their pants. You can’t spell bourbon or ouzo without OU. It was a fountain of knowledge where I went to drink.

(Full story here)


My first (and monthly or so) Instagram compilation is now on-line! Link to YouTube.


Concluding thought …

• People say I repeat myself when I'm drunk. People say I repeat myself when I'm drunk.


• Author’s note …

All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com