"Use All The Crayons" newsletter No. 96

Today's Theme ... "First Snow"

Today’s theme: “First Snow”

• Instagram round-up right here

Video of the Week: “My best Enquirer stories …” Recorded Nov. 5, at the Sewickley Men’s Social Club.

Bob Dylan in Pittsburgh tonight. Here’s my favorite Dylan story. It’s about the day he was arrested for vagrancy outside a ine-time Bruce Springsteen home by a city cop who refused to believe he was Bob Dylan.

Show recommendation of the Week: “Dopesick” on Hulu is a devastating indictment of how even good men and women can succumb to drugs (and greed). Michael Keaton stars, but the performances are universally excellent.

• Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …

Birthquakes: The intense contractions that convulse a pregnant woman as she’s about to deliver a child; labor pains.

Randoms …

• Anytime I hear anyone saying "cooler heads will prevail," I keep hoping one of the cooler heads is wacky snowman Olaf from “Frozen.”

• Woke up to sheets of ice on a bed of snow. My fear is obviously I'll tonight put my head down onto a pillow of slush.

• People say "not a snowball’s chance in hell,” like they know forecast. In my hell, there will be tons of snow.

• Whenever you hear someone poetically say no two snowflakes are alike, offer him or her a snow shovel and the opportunity to clear your driveway the next time it snows. It only takes about four minutes of shoveling to realize every single snowflake looks exactly alike when there are about a billion of them between you and a plowed road.

• It’s often said of snowflakes no two are ever alike, but what about popcorn? Needs further study. Too bad I eat most of my popcorn in dark.

• I have read that tribes native to Arctic climes have 47 words to describe snow. I have just as many to describe farts.

• Take an exhilarating ride down a snowy hill on a five-person toboggan. Wonder if it would be possible to fit 25 people on a footboggan.

• If I were God there'd be no war, no injustice & every snowflake would be an identical smiley face. Who'm I kidding? There'd be no snow!

Randoms …

• Every perfect parent understands the need to impart some daily imperfection lest their children grow up without someone to blame for their inevitable adult flaws.

• Most people who think they have the world on a string realize too late what they're really holding is a lit fuse.

• I was born unaware, but immediately began paying attention and soon caring about the world and its people which means I've spent my entire life bewildered & devoutly wishing I'd just been born satisfied being stupid.

• I wonder if Biblical partisans complained about the blatant nepotism when God chose His only Son to be Savior.

• Author’s note …

Thank Matt S. for always remembering to pay the monthly dirt-cheap $5 to support my newsletter. This works best when everyone acts like Matt … Please contribute some tangible appreciation (PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650).


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