"2nd novel …. Done!
I finished “Evan & Elle,” the book about eternity that seemed to take me forever to write. Well, it’s not “finished” finished. To use a Christmas analogy, we took the pine off the roof of the car, put it in the tree stand and set it up in front by the bay window. Now I can go back string tinsel and hang the ornaments. Now I can make it sparkle. But in the meantime, it’s presentable enough to begin showing agents and publishers who — cross your fingers — will like it enough to pay me for my efforts.
What do you think? Does it grab you? Does it read like I’m on to something or like I’m merely on something?
Follo me on Instagram. Here’s me telling a knock-knock-knock-knock joke.
Today’s theme: Hell
Colorful Living Tip of the Day …
• Terrorism, famine, injustice — some days it seems like Satan’s either winning or God quit caring. Change starts at home. Spend each and every day smiling at strangers.
Relatables …
• Point out that when Satan gives someone hell it should be considered a real estate transaction.
• Ask Satan worshippers if they resent being demonized or consider the designation a badge of honor.
• Ask friends if they know how come Hollywood has made 16 Godzilla movies about an evil, scary monster but never one about a beast named Devilzilla?
• People say "not a snowball’s chance in hell,” like they know Hell’s forecast. Listen: In my hell there will be tons of snow.
• I have to imagine the swear box in Hell is always full, but what sorts of public improvement projects get the proceeds?
•I wonder how often Hell has Congeniality contests and how long it’ll be before Bill Cosby wins.
• It no longer makes sense telling anyone to go to hell. Sooner or later, hell comes to you.
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …
Furrious: The unstable state of mind hunters get in whenever they hear about the latest attention grabbing stunt by animal rights group PETA.
Related travel story …
“It’s cool in Hell (Mich.)”
Civic boosters will swear you won’t be toast in Toast, you won’t get scalded in Hot Coffee and you can still enjoy ice cream in Hell without fear of it vaporizing. Much of America is complaining it’s hotter than hell, but the man who runs Hell’s ice cream shop says the scare-a-mel’s maintaining its gooey consistency. “It’s been a great summer for selling ice cream in Hell,” says John Colone of Scream’s Ice Cream in Hell, Michigan. “It’s always busy because more people are told to go to Hell than any other town in the world.”
Related blog post …
“Raising hell/lowering heaven; our idiomatic afterlives,” (Sept. ‘13) …
What does it say about mankind that most people would rather raise hell than lower heaven? I guess I’ve been raising hell since about sixth grade when I first began giving my teachers a devil of a time. Never in my life has anyone invited me to lower heaven. You’d think Pat Robertson, a man who’s raised far more funds than hell, would have thought of it. Or maybe he’s fearful it might succeed and some homos might sneak in while God wasn’t watching.
Concluding thought …
• I’d like to know the first words of souls arriving in Hell when their last words on Earth were, "Goodbye cruel world!”
• Author’s note …
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