Today’s edition: Numerous Beatles references including what if instead of falling for John, Yoko had become infatuated with Moe of The Stooges. Plus new Zeitgust word — slimitators — and definition.
Colorful Living Tip of the Day (I) …
601 Wonder if alpha walruses ever get into beach shoving matches shouting, “I am the walrus!” and another replies, “No! I am the walrus!"
Random Beatle Reference …
Tell friends you’re forming a really crappy Fab Four tribute band. Then ask them to practice saying, ”Ladies and gentleman, please give a warm welcome to ... The Dung Beatles!”
New blog post!
“Laughing while America screams”
Arnold Palmer: On This Day in …
2005 -- Sally Jenkins writes in Golf for Women magazine that today’s top stars have become so inaccessible it’s hurting the game. She contrasts the standoffishness with Palmer and writes, “To this day, Palmer fulfills every autograph request, his way of saying thank you for the roars that propelled him through his career. In fact, if you write to him, asking for a signature, he not only writes you back, he pays the postage.”
Today’s Reason to Visit Latrobe, Mister Rogers’ REAL Neighborhood …
We’re neighbors with Idlewild Park & Soakzone. Rogers spent many youthful days there and became instrumental in what the park would become. In 1994 told local historian E. Kay Myers, “I think Idlewild is the most naturally beautiful amusement park in the world.”
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …
Slimitators: Impressionable teenage boys and girls intent on looking like fashionable Hollywood anorexics.
Days Until Pittsburgh Steelers Come To Latrobe for Training Camp: 205
What to do today in the Laurel Highlands …
• Book a spring stay at Nemacolin, one of America’s top all-season resorts just one hour south of Latrobe. The resort is being featured in the current season of “The Bachelor.”
• Step outside and with social distancing in mind patronize one of Westmoreland County’s many stalwart businesses that were closed in the hopes of easing the holiday pandemic surge. (Westmoreland Co. Chamber of Commerce.
Colorful Living Tip (II)…
798: Tell friends you’re learning to play the harp on the grounds it’ll help you fit in better in heaven.
Today’s post …
She’s Leaving Home … and she’s taking her harp
Because I believe it’ll increase my chances of getting into heaven, I’m thinking of acquiring a good used harp. Being a skillful harp player might convince Pearly Gate keepers to overlook my sloth, my gluttony and all that chronic flatulence to help me make the heavenly cut.
Swanson Harp Company in Boston has a Lyon & Healy 6161-23 for $16,900, a far better bargain than the $44,900 Swanson Art Nouveau. The website is worth a browse. It talks about used harps with the same loving descriptions you see on some of the “who-wants-to-date-a-mysterious-stranger!” sites.
“We may be prejudiced, but we believe this may be the most beautiful harp ever made! It was commissioned by a harpist in Boston and designed and hand carved by master woodcarver Will Neptune. It is the only one that was made and so is totally unique.”
Experienced cynics would likely respond to that puffery with, “Well, sure she’s a lovely harp, but what they don’t tell you is when you go to pick her up for dinner you find out she has five bratty harp kids.”
We took the kids to see “Young Frankenstein: The Musical,” last week. Loved it. But I was distracted by the enormous harp rising from the orchestra pit. It was nearly as big as the monster. Yet the woman who plucked it looked a better match for the flute. How’d she lug that thing around? I don’t know why I’m surprised harpists are often dainty. It is, after all, the angel’s instrument.
“If there’s a rock ’n’ roll heaven, you know they’ve got a helluva band.” That’s what the Righteous Brothers sang in 1974.
That may be, but if you believe the Bible all the band is playing are horns and harps. No Stratocasters, bass, keyboards or other instruments I consider essential to rock ’n’ roll heaven.
No cowbell.
And no harps! I’m talking about your standard mouth organ which somehow became known as a harp, French harp or blues harp. The unnecessary confusion infuriates me. I remember when I was a kid hearing Keith Richards say, “An’ ’en Mick pulls out the ol’ harp anna place goes wild.”
I couldn’t picture Jagger plucking harp chords for some baroque version of “Sympathy for the Devil.” Then I learned the English bluesmen (and American) all call the harmonica the harp.
It’s odd that there’ll be harps-a-plenty in rock ’n’ roll heaven, but I can name more great rock songs featuring bagpipes (three: Steve Earle’s “Copperhead Road,” AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” and “It’s a Long Way to the Top”) than I can great rock harp songs (one) even though it’s the kind of “rock” song that sounds like it were composed by Franz Schubert.
It’s “She’s Leaving Home,” from Sgt. Pepper, one of just a handful of songs in which none of the Beatles plays any instruments. It’s an entirely stringed arrangement led by harpist Sheila Bromberg. I found her e-mail address and was tempted to get in touch. It’d be very cool for me to say I’ve corresponded with the woman who played harp on “She’s Leaving Home,” but it would be very disappointing for her, I’m sure, because she’d initially think I was a legitimate writer and then I’d have to explain the stupid blog name all over again.
She said the “She’s Leaving Home” session was very rushed and the only Beatle present was Paul. “In actual fact he was quite difficult to work with because he wasn’t too sure what he actually wanted. He said ‘No, I don’t want that, I want something …’ but he couldn't describe what he wanted and I tried it all every which way.”
I’m sure she’s speaking on a purely professional level and so I forgive the harpist for sounding like a harpy, which according to Greek mythology is a nasty monster with a woman’s face and body and a bird’s wings and claws, which sounds more like Yoko than Bromberg.
And that’s all I’ll say about that. I’ll not harp on it.
I have some running around to do.
All together now: “’e’s leaving home!”
Bye, bye.
Colorful Living Tip (III) …
879 Wonder how different would rock and comedy histories be if instead of John of The Beatles, Yoko had fallen for Moe of The Stooges.
Oddly enough …
Mt. Washington, N.H.: Weather tourists risk life and limb to enjoy Mother Nature at her worst.
The world’s worst weather isn’t in at either of the polar extremes, Siberia or other godforsaken places. Nope, it’s in New Hampshire. Author William Lowell Putnam, writes: “There may be worse weather, from time to time, at some forbidding place on Planet Earth, but it has yet to be reliably recorded.” Mount Washington has the record wind speed of a whopping 231 mph (hurricanes blow at a measly 80 mph). Amazingly, some of the weather may actually be worse than the chilly records indicate. Mount Washington also holds the record for most weather instruments destroyed by weather.
The Page 1 “Crayons!” Pledge (still applies)
The Book Is STILL Free
That’s right. Free. Anyone who wants a copy mailed to his or her home, no charge, is welcome to one. Just ask.
Author Chris Rodell, of course, encourages you to buy it and hopes you’ll support him and the people who distribute, promote and sell books. But if you’re one of those Americans who are out of work and having a tough time, or if you know a US serviceman or woman who might benefit from a book that aims to brighten daily lives, then Rodell wants you to get in touch at storyteller@chrisrodell.com.
He doesn’t believe a book that, at its heart, aims to help people be happy should be withheld from anyone over a few dollars. “It’s said the best things in life—love, friendship, laughter—are free,” Rodell says. “I don’t presume this book is among the best things in life but, by God, there’s nothing to say it can’t keep good company.”
And finally …
“Crayons Tip no. 1001” … “Learn the fine art of knowing precisely when to quit.”
About …
Chris Rodell is the author of six books, the most recent being “Undaunted Optimist: Essays on Life, Laughter & Cheerful Perseverance.” Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge says, “Rodell writes about life the way Sinatra sings about New York, unflinching about the gritty realities, but with abiding affection and relentless positivity abut the future.”
A swashbuckling freelance writer since 1992, Rodell has rassled alligators, raced Ferraris, jumped out of cloud-cruising airplanes and in one week gained 20 pounds eating like Elvis.
Besides unconventional biographies on Fred Rogers and Arnold Palmer, his other books include “Use All The Crayons! The Colorful Guide To Simple Human Happiness,” and “The Last Baby Boomer: The Story of the Ultimate Ghoul Pool,” a 2016 satiric novel about the life and death of the last baby boomer (winner of the ’17 TINARA Award for best satire).
He is a sought-after and entertaining motivational public speaker and as seen in this 2015 clip the recipient of the greatest author ovation of all-time.
Rodell lives in Latrobe with his wife Valerie, their daughters, Josie and Lucy, and a small loud dog named Snickers.
He’ll write for anyone who’ll pay him. He is a PROSEtitute.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com