"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter no. 112

Today's theme ... "Mailin' it in"

Today’s theme: “Mailing it in”

Blog post of the week …

“Zippity-doo-Duh:” A postal money maker

Old Mail Day in Hooterville

Why you should write someone a letter today

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Goin’ postal

• Be Napoleonic. He only opened his mail once a month, sure the passage of time would resolve nearly every issue. Resist the urge to constantly check your smart phone.

• Send your Christmas cards to be mailed from Santa Claus, Indiana, 47579, the only town in America with a functioning United States Post Office named in honor of St. Nick.

• Next time you’re out of town, purchase and mail two postcards — one scenic, one sexy — and mail them to a friend at the same time. Chances are the scenic one will zip right through while the sexy one could be held up for unusual delays, especially if they are mailed to snowy destinations in the dead of winter.

•  I wonder if USPS supervisors ever feel conflicted about warning carriers against just mailing it in.

• Argue that one way to trim the staggering federal deficit is for the government to begin selling vanity zip codes. For instance, wanna bet Las Vegas wouldn’t wager that the available zip code 77777 is worth at least $1 million in publicity?

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Total randoms

• In my experience, the ones most likely to post bitter comment on any story of mine are the ones who are least likely to have read it.

• Technology is the willful and agreed-upon demolition of charm and all that was once beloved as quaint.

• Noah’s Arc was the only cruise ship in history where every level was a poop deck.

• I don't want to live forever. I want to live right now!

Author’s note …

All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com