"Use All the Crayons!" newsletter No. 106
Today's theme ... "Jesus"
Today’s theme: “Jesus”
Related blog post: “At Christmas, wondering about the Teenage Jesus”
Jesus (birth & early years)
• Ask children if they believe it ever bothered Jesus His birthday was the same day as Christmas.
• I contend the story of the Christ birth would be impossible today because we'd be hard pressed to find in the entire world three wise men.
• Wonder aloud if the Bethlehem bullies ever taunted Jesus with the old “So you think you’re better than me?” line.
• I’d have liked to have been a fly on the wall to hear what His high school guidance counselor said when the teenage Jesus told him God said He was going to be the Savior.
• I wonder if Jesus and God do anything special for Father's Day.
• We hear lots about Jesus as the Son of God. I wonder about Uncle Jesus. Wouldn't it have been cool to say Jesus was your Uncle?
• I'm sure he was a perfectly competent carpenter, but I think Jesus missed his calling. He’d have been one hell of a bartender.
• Go ahead and some Sunday wear your bathrobe to church on the grounds that it’s what Jesus wore.
• Jesus walked on water. Ask the faithful if they think when He returns He’ll this time opt for a spiffy new Sea-Doo.
• Which seems sillier: a child believing in Santa Claus or an adult believing that Jesus Christ, a man whose ancestors were uniformly Middle Easterners, was a lily white dude? And would it hurt your faith if scholars revealed Jesus looked more like bin Laden than Ryan Seacrest?
• Wonder what you’ll do if you get to heaven and you’ve lived such an exclusively sin-free life the only ones there are you, God, Jesus and, of course, Elvis.
• Have fun imagining how great historical figures would have looked had they worn big militant afros. Try it with Jesus, Lincoln, Dick Cheney, etc.
• Because of the potential for global religious upheaval, I've been reluctant to reveal this, but if you look closely enough at The Last Supper painting you can see that while Jesus is revealing his betrayal, the apostle John is checking his phone. Maybe he was calculating the tip.
Author’s note …