"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter No. 97

Today's theme ... "Weekend"

Today’s theme: “Weekend”

Today’s blog post, “When drinkin’ buddies become problem drinkers

Instagram round-up right here

• Video of the Week: “My best Enquirer stories …” Recorded Nov. 5, at the Sewickley Men’s Social Club.

Weekend …

• Spend a weekend willing yourself to blink more slowly. That way you’ll be better prepared to savor all the wonders everyone says go by in the blink of an eye.

• Bible says our bodies are temples. On Friday nights, mine is more like a honky tonk. Some beer's been spilled, some of the furniture is busted & it smells kinda funny. But the folks are friendly, the peanuts are free and the good music never ends.

• Studies show thinking about taking a nap is sometimes as refreshing as taking an actual nap. Try to conjure the same sort of magic for things like the Friday happy hour.

• Designate one weekend a month “Opposites Weekend,” and do the exact opposite of what you normally do. Call different friends, read different newspapers and magazines, think different thoughts.

• I so love the word "hanky-panky" I'm devoting weekend to finding useful meanings for hinky-pinky, henky-penky, honky-ponky & hunky-punky.

• “... and on the seventh day, He rested." See, God may have created Heaven and Earth, but in His infinity wisdom He knew better than to create a lawn that would need mowing every Sunday.

• If you’re going to go to the trouble of getting out of bed and getting dressed on a Sunday morning to attend church, be sure to pay attention and don’t let your mind wander. Don’t be one of those Bored Again Christians

Unrelated …

• I know it's unrefined for someone who aspires to sophistication of manners, but I sometimes wolf down my meals. My daughters are far daintier. It's more like they poodle theirs down. "Poodle Down!" would be a great name for some don't ask/don't tell military rom-com.

• It’s entirely possible to kick a squirrel right in the nuts and hurt only his feelings. Hers, too.

• When even the mundane are deemed worthy of demonization Hell itself becomes pedestrian.

• Because it would suggest modernization and would require the change of just a handful of letters, I suggest we change the name of the Walter Reed Army Medical Center to the Walter O'Reilly Army Medical Center.

• Author’s note …

Thanks to Bob K. of Chicago and Cecily M. of Richmond, Virginia, for their generous donations. Enjoy the newsletter? Look forward to it? Pony up! I say that while acknowledging I’m not sure how that phrase every came to mean contribute. I’d be miffed if my asking you to pony up resulted in any of you giving me a small horse, but it’d give me a story I’m sure I’d enjoy telling so … Pony up!

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