Today’s edition: Emphasis on eyeballs; what shoes and people have in common; Fred and Barney; and on this day, yikes, Palmer takes a 12.
Colorful Living Tip of the Day (I) …
364: “Appreciate how shoes are our most human-like accessory. Like us, they have tongues, eyes, heels, toes — if they had souls instead of soles they’d be equals.”
Random Eyeball Reference …
“Unless you're a disabled pirate or a sympathetic cyclops, you'll never have a chance to see truly eye-to-eye.”
Arnold Palmer: On This Day in …
1961 -- Palmer takes, yikes, a 12 on the 508-yard ninth hole at the Rancho Park Golf Course during the 1961 Los Angeles Open after blasting four straight balls OB. Club members were so amazed that the defending U.S. Open and Master champion could take a 7-over par, they installed a plaque commemorating the deed. The plaque is still there today. When asked later how the great Arnold Palmer could card a 12, Palmer replies, “It was easy. I missed a 30-foot putt for an 11.”
Today’s Reason to Visit Latrobe, Mister Rogers’ REAL Neighborhood …
Nearby Youngstown has Main Street extensions ceremonially named after both Arnold Palmer and Fred Rogers. The Rogers family still maintains a woodsy estate on the eastern end of Fred Rogers Way.
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …
Cannibler: A picky eater of human flesh; a cannibal with an eating disorder.
Days Until Pittsburgh Steelers Come To Latrobe for Training Camp: 206
What to do today in the Laurel Highlands …
• Book a spring stay at Nemacolin, one of America’s top all-season resorts just one hour south of Latrobe. The resort is being featured in the current season of “The Bachelor.”
• Step outside and with social distancing in mind patronize one of Westmoreland County’s many stalwart businesses that were closed in the hopes of easing the holiday pandemic surge. (Westmoreland Co. Chamber of Commerce.
• Get some New Year’s takeout from Rizzo’s Malabar Inn: For reasons I cannot fathom, I looked across the Rizzo’s parking lot and forgot I was in Crabtree. I could have sworn I was in Korea during the war. I was in a M*A*S*H triage unit with dozens of other needy men and women. But we didn’t need surgery. We needed spaghetti. Covid restrictions have turned the popular Italian destination restaurant into a marvel of speedy and efficient takeout. Customers pull in, lineup and wait by their cars as waitstaff retrieve orders. They then deliver reasonably priced and delicious Italian food to be sent home for consumption. It’s all done with with the kind of easy cheer you’d expect from Hawkeye and Trapper John. Maybe that’s why I thought of Korea, not Crabtree. Both M*A*S*H and Rizzo’s excel at meatball surgery.
Colorful Living Tip (II)…
367: Ponder that given the dietary challenges paleolithic cavemen faced, how surprising it is Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble were tubby. And, yeah, that they had time to bowl, too.
Today’s post …
Insights on eyeballs
Saying a story in the New York Times “caught my eye” makes it sound like the headline reached out and snatched an eyeball right out of my head.
That’s never happened, but if diminishing eye function trends continue we may one day see strangers thanking one another for snagging their eyes moments before they rolled away into city sewers.
Pretty women will shy away from wearing eye-catching dresses for fear a stroll down the sidewalk would be like an afternoon being bullied at the paintball playground.
The story says American nearsightedness has jumped from 25 to 42 percent since the 1970s.
The reason?
Too much time spent indoors reading from artificial light.
As the writing son of an optician, I’m torn -- and not in any way requiring emergency room suturing.
I don’t want to do anything that will discourage people from reading, even if the way they’re reading eventually renders vital organs as useless as scrap appendix.
Researchers say ancestral eye sharpness developed in bright natural light -- and by natural light they mean sunshine.
I have to keep reminding myself of that because for nearly 30 years natural light to me has meant beer sign neon including ones that further confuse by saying, “Natural Light.”
They believe bright outdoor light helps developing eyes keep vision in focus. Artificial lighting doesn’t measure up.
It’s just one reason you don’t see many homeless people in Armani frames.
Ideally, people would take books, newspapers and (and blogs!) and read them outside in the glorious sunshine.
But where does that leave those of us in places like Pittsburgh? If we want to go outside and sit in the sunshine we usually have to get in our cars and drive to Myrtle Beach.
Plus, the story doesn’t differentiate between printed and illuminated words.
I suspect I’ll always prefer the printed word to slick e-versions. I still love the feel of books and hold them the way adolescent boys used to hold porn before it all creeped on-line, a setting I still maintain is too conversely sterile for acts that at heart are procreational.
Well, maybe every once in a while.
But our house up in the woods is so dark I can envision a day when I’d want an e-reader to take advantage of backlit screens and the ability to increase the type size.
It just seems like a wonderful convenience that would reduce eye strain in a place where lighting is dim enough to make the common Townend Big-Eared Bat squinty.
It may seem strange that a guy who’s spent his whole life shunning supervision would come out in favor of Super Vision, but I’ve always been alert to eye care.
The importance of taking care of my eyes was something that was drilled into me from a very young age -- and that’s just another expression and not some deal the optical department at Sears gave free to the kids of the employees.
I’ve worn glasses mostly since the eighth grade. As I scored them free, my collection rivaled Elton’s.
Sure, for a few vapid years I tried contacts for reasons of vanity. I thought I’d look sexier to women I was trying to date.
This didn’t seem to work, I guess, because the women I tried to date all seemed to have Super Vision. They’d take one look at me and see multiple flaws.
So I went back to big nerdy glasses that concealed more of my face and things began working out fine.
Either way, I promise to keep an eye on the news.
If you see it rolling around down there, I’ll be grateful if you’ll pick it up and stick it back in my face.
Colorful Living Tip (III) …
596: Terrorism, famine, injustice — some days it seems like Satan’s either winning or God quit caring. Change starts at home. Spend each and every day smiling at strangers.
Oddly enough …
Mt. Washington, N.H.: Weather tourists risk life and limb to enjoy Mother Nature at her worst.
The world’s worst weather isn’t in at either of the polar extremes, Siberia or other godforsaken places. Nope, it’s in New Hampshire. Author William Lowell Putnam, writes: “There may be worse weather, from time to time, at some forbidding place on Planet Earth, but it has yet to be reliably recorded.” Mount Washington has the record wind speed of a whopping 231 mph (hurricanes blow at a measly 80 mph). Amazingly, some of the weather may actually be worse than the chilly records indicate. Mount Washington also holds the record for most weather instruments destroyed by weather.
The Page 1 “Crayons!” Pledge (still applies)
The Book Is STILL Free
That’s right. Free. Anyone who wants a copy mailed to his or her home, no charge, is welcome to one. Just ask.
Author Chris Rodell, of course, encourages you to buy it and hopes you’ll support him and the people who distribute, promote and sell books. But if you’re one of those Americans who are out of work and having a tough time, or if you know a US serviceman or woman who might benefit from a book that aims to brighten daily lives, then Rodell wants you to get in touch at storyteller@chrisrodell.com.
He doesn’t believe a book that, at its heart, aims to help people be happy should be withheld from anyone over a few dollars. “It’s said the best things in life—love, friendship, laughter—are free,” Rodell says. “I don’t presume this book is among the best things in life but, by God, there’s nothing to say it can’t keep good company.”
And finally …
“Crayons Tip no. 1001” … “Learn the fine art of knowing precisely when to quit.”
About …
Chris Rodell is the author of six books, the most recent being “Undaunted Optimist: Essays on Life, Laughter & Cheerful Perseverance.” Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge says, “Rodell writes about life the way Sinatra sings about New York, unflinching about the gritty realities, but with abiding affection and relentless positivity abut the future.”
A swashbuckling freelance writer since 1992, Rodell has rassled alligators, raced Ferraris, jumped out of cloud-cruising airplanes and in one week gained 20 pounds eating like Elvis.
Besides unconventional biographies on Fred Rogers and Arnold Palmer, his other books include “Use All The Crayons! The Colorful Guide To Simple Human Happiness,” and “The Last Baby Boomer: The Story of the Ultimate Ghoul Pool,” a 2016 satiric novel about the life and death of the last baby boomer (winner of the ’17 TINARA Award for best satire).
He is a sought-after and entertaining motivational public speaker and as seen in this 2015 clip the recipient of the greatest author ovation of all-time.
Rodell lives in Latrobe with his wife Valerie, their daughters, Josie and Lucy, and a small loud dog named Snickers.
He’ll write for anyone who’ll pay him. He is a PROSEtitute.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com