"use all The Crayons!" newsletter no. 85

Today's theme ... "Roadtrip"

Today’s theme: Roadtrip

I’ll be speaking today/night from 4 to midnight at Little Rock in Columbus. Well, more like mumbling. Little Rock is my buddy Quinn Fallon’s bar and, thus, one of my favorite places on the planet to spend time. Stop by Little Rock if you’re nearby and together we’ll make some cool new friends. Why Little Rock? ‘cuz every bar needs a Little Rock.

This is Quinn talking about the lines he’s pilfered from me for his songs, an admission that comes across as a bizarre ad for Natty Lite.

Related blog post …

“The splendid folly of life’s roadtrips,” Jan. ’13

My dear nephew called me about a month ago and asked if he and four friends could stay at our house over the holidays. They were driving from Nashville to New York City to see Coldplay. Of course, I said, only half sure it would ever happen. As the day approached the weather worsened. Blizzards were forecast, temperatures dropped and they began hearing from parents and friends that making an 18-hour trip was ill-advised. Brad, 20, asked my opinion. “Making that kind of drive with you, someone who’s never driven in snow, is absolutely foolhardy,” I said. “That’s why I think you should do it. If you don’t do stupid things when you’re young you may never do stupid things as long as you live.” The ill-conceived road trip is one of the stupidest things young people can do so it invariably provides some of life’s best memories.

(Full story here)

This week’s Instagram medley


• Find ways to massage your ego by proposing ways you’re better than historic figures. For instance, George Washington was an inspirational leader and visionary for revolutionary liberty, but you can certainly drive better than him.

• On the hottest, most skin-blistering day in August, drive to a cool mountain stream. If it takes you longer than an hour, pack a lunch and a six-pack. Dangle the six-pack and your bare feet in the water while you’re reading a book about the arctic perils of climbing Mt. Everest.

•I will devote part of the day to teaching my beloved daughter how to drive, the whole time feeling like a warden who's cheerfully teaching an inmate how to escape.

• Call the game “Three Things.” On a long drive, ask each other to list three of anything. Maybe three favorite movies, three favorite songs, etc. Then make the categories more fun and challenging. Three favorite things to do with a chicken (fry, roast, grill with a I used to pretend I was too sick to go to school. Then make it personal. Three things you love most about Mommy.

• Think about it: In your lifetime, you or someone you know will vacation on the surface of the moon. Mention it to friends when they ask your advice on a vacation destination. Speculate on the heavenly possibilities.

• Plan a dream vacation using colorful brochures and an itinerary of places to stay and things to do. Put them in a large envelope in a secure place. Mark the envelope, “Things to do the day after I win the lottery.”