"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter No. 94

Today's theme ... "Days of the Week"

Today’s theme: “Days of the Week”

Video of the Week: “How I Became A 120-year-old man …” Recorded Nov. 5, at the Sewickley Men’s Social Club.

Show recommendation(s) of the Week: “Dopesick” on Hulu is a devastating indictment of how even good men and women can succumb to drugs (and greed). Michael Keaton stars, but the performances are universally excellent. Oh, and the whole family enjoyed the new Bond “No Time To Die” flick.

• Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …

Fuddy-Daddy: A male parent who wishes, goldarnit, TVs would go back to just 13 channels, that phones were still phone-shaped and that his adult kids still looked up to him the way they did when he was 32 and they were 4.

“Days of the Week”

• Your life will be appreciably more balanced & sane if you wake up Monday & realize your job isn't nearly as important as you think it is.

• News report says New Delhi discount days failing to drive sales the way experts predicted. Know what that means? Goodbye rupee Tuesday!

• Some say I may be one of those writers who doesn't become success 'til dead. Good/bad news is I'm so stressed could happen Tuesday.

• Americans Against Stupid Silent Letters unite! It's no longer Wednesday. Let's all make it Wensday! (this message brought to you by AASSL).

• It’s a triumph of Biblical marketing that the day known for the cruel beating and bloody crucifixion of the holy man many of us consider to be our Savior is called "Good" Friday. I wonder what Jesus calls it.

• Bible says our bodies are temples. On Friday nights, mine is more like a honky tonk. Some beer's been spilled, some of the furniture is busted & it smells kinda funny. But the folks are friendly, the peanuts are free and the good music never ends.

• Not saying local volunteer fire fighters join for purely social reasons, but it is suspicious the town whore house catches fire every Friday at 8 p.m.

• Does heaven have Casual Fridays and if they do, pray tell, what do they wear?

• “… and on the seventh day, He rested." See, God may have created Heaven and Earth, but in His infinity wisdom He knew better than to create a lawn that would need mowing every Sunday.

Randoms …

• I think we're fast approaching a day where safe sex is all safe and no sex.

• I always chuckle at the inaccuracy when I hear people say the world can be cruel. Sillies, the Earth is inanimate and does not have emotions so Earth is never cruel. Earth is indifferent. Now Earthlings …

• And while we're at it, how come we're Earthlings instead of Earthians, ala Martians. I know of no equivalent. No Pittsburgherlings. No Frenchlings. Earthling sounds like the name for a captivity-bred panda

• I’m going to install a trampoline in the bathroom so when I announce I'm going to jump in the shower I can really -- oh, just forget it!