Today’s edition: Doc Giffin’s wise prophecy; featured post on why you should resolve to in ’21 opine less and compliment more; plus all the usual folderol — and that’s the last time I’ll use the word folderol this week!
Colorful Living Tip of the day (I) …
863: Say “Happy New Year!” clear through July 5 when it becomes seasonally acceptable to once again greet people with “Merry Christmas!”
Random Fatherhood Observation …
I was deeply flattered the other day when my daughter, 20, asked me for some life advice but am self-aware enough to realize that if I was anyone else and saw her asking me for advice, I'd think, "What could she possibly hope to learn from that jackass?”
Arnold Palmer: On This Day in …
1975 — Palmer assistant Doc Giffin reveals many people thought he was crazy for taking the Palmer job in 1966. “They said, ‘His career’s almost over. Why take a job with no future?’ But with his business activities, golf course design and involvement in the Senior Tour, he’ll always need me.”
Today’s Reason to Visit Latrobe, Mister Rogers’ REAL Neighborhood …
You can have your picture taken outside the home where young Fred first played with puppets. The Fred Rogers boyhood home is at 737 Weldon St.
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …
Birthquakes: The intense contractions that convulse a pregnant woman as she’s about to deliver a child; labor pains.
Days Until Pittsburgh Steelers Come To Latrobe for Training Camp: 208
What to do today in the Laurel Highlands …
• Get some takeout from Rizzo’s Malabar Inn: For reasons I cannot fathom, I looked across the Rizzo’s parking lot and forgot I was in Crabtree. I could have sworn I was in Korea during the war. I was in a M*A*S*H triage unit with dozens of other needy men and women. But we didn’t need surgery. We needed spaghetti. Covid restrictions have turned the popular Italian destination restaurant into a marvel of speedy and efficient takeout. Customers pull in, lineup and wait by their cars as waitstaff retrieve orders. They then deliver reasonably priced and delicious Italian food to be sent home for consumption. It’s all done with with the kind of easy cheer you’d expect from Hawkeye and Trapper John. Maybe that’s why I thought of Korea, not Crabtree. Both M*A*S*H and Rizzo’s excel at meatball surgery.
• Give your new gun a go. A&S Indoor Pistol Range is a great place to go ballistic.
• Wax the skis! A near record December snow has given Seven Springs and other Highland ski resorts a solid base.
Today’s feature post …
“Humanity’s resolution: Opine less, compliment more”
The deluge of resolutions are flooding the national psyche: Lose weight. Get a new job. Spend more quality time with the kids.
All are aimed at making individuals and the world itself a better place.
As that’s what I’m all about, let me offer humanity a collective resolution that will do wonders to improve our each and every day:
Preempt every outloud opinion with a distracting compliment.
So, for instance, if Burt from accounting tries to goad you into an argument about politics, race or any of the hot button issues of the day, disengage and instead tell Burt his new haircut makes him look years younger.
Same goes for Suzie from marketing. Don’t allow yourself to get dragged into an argument about climate change with her. Instead ask if she’s lost weight and tell her that dress really flatters her figure.
The compliments will sweeten their whole demeanor.
See, I’m one of those believers who thinks man is the cause of global warming. There’s simply too much hot air.
And most of it is coming from me and you!
We live in a time when our ardor to express our opinions is surpassed only by our ability to shout them around the world. On the racetrack of understanding, opinion has now lapped fact.
I’m all for exercising our First Amendment rights, but there’s such a thing as too much exercise.
As proof, I offer the example of the late running guru Jim Fixx, author of the 1977 smash, “The Complete Book of Running.” It was maybe the only book in publishing history you could describe without exaggeration as a “runaway bestseller.”
People cited Fixx as the inspiration for a healthy lifestyle that would better the whole world. It launched the fitness craze that persists to this day.
Devotees of ironic tragedy remember Fixx for a different reason.
Yes, the man who said relentless jogging would lead to longer, healthier lives died at the tender age of 52.
Of a heart attack.
While jogging!
I fear we’re exercising our Free Speech rights to death.
It’s driving me crazy.
I’ve tried reasoning. I’ve tried arguing.
Our opinions are so set there’s no way to crack all the concrete — and I’m talking about the all concrete between the ears of those who think differently than I.
And the stupid arguments just escalate.
I got into one last week with one of my racist friends.
I wish I didn’t have racist friends. But if I confined my conversation to only enlightened thinkers it’d be a very lonely existence and I’d have to stop talking to even myself.
He’d previously made some racially inconsiderate remarks about Steeler coach Mike Tomlin.
Now that Tomlin has the Steelers in the playoffs and looking like Super Bowl contenders, I reiterated my opinion — and it’s just my opinion — that he was a racist, blow-hard, raving idiot.
Within seconds we were in each other’s faces.
As I knew it would only get worse and that he was probably packing, I decided a new debate tactic might be wise.
“And I’ll tell you another thing!” I shouted.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Well, what?”
“I don’t know what you had for lunch, but your breath smells extra fresh!”
So that’s what I’m urging all America to do: Opine less and compliment more.
It’s a fine resolution that could make the world a more civil place.
Of course, that’s just my opinion.
Next year we’ll work on a resolution about the brazen hypocrisy of a guy who intends to blog his opinions more than 250 times in 2015 lecturing the world about too many opinions.
And, by the way, I’d be remiss to let this go without mentioning how great you look in those jeans.
Have you lost weight?
Colorful Living Tip (II) …
852: Colorful Conversation Starter: Ask people if they think all the other kids
made fun of him because Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
Believe It Or Not …
I’m on the verge of proving my office plants are conspiring against me. But every time I get close enough to record their dark plot the bully ficus says, "Shut up! Here he comes again!" Call me crazy, but I vow to get to the root of this ...
Oddly enough …
Darwin, Minn.: The town saved by the giant ball of twine
You wouldn’t want to be in Darwin the day Earth gets invaded by giant cats. This is the home of the world’s — oh, what the heck — the universe’s largest ball of twine collected by a single person. At 11 feet, 9 inches high and 40 feet around, the 8.7 ton object is large enough to give a pachyderm-sized feline nine lives of numb-skulled fun. For the 250 people of Darwin, Minnesota, the twine ball has provided more than enjoyment. It’s provided a living. Of course, it goes without saying that much twine can really bind people together. Hank Quinn of the Darwin Community Club said the town was hanging by a proverbial thread before the giant ball really got things rolling. “This town was saved by the giant ball of twine,” said Quinn, uttering the title of what would make one heck of a Adam Sandler flick. “Without that ball of twine, Darwin would be dead. All there’d be would be the bank the machine shop, and the grain elevator. That’s it. Its success has breathed life into Darwin.”
The Page 1 “Crayons!” Pledge (still applies)
The Book Is STILL Free
That’s right. Free. Anyone who wants a copy mailed to his or her home, no charge, is welcome to one. Just ask.
Author Chris Rodell, of course, encourages you to buy it and hopes you’ll support him and the people who distribute, promote and sell books. But if you’re one of those Americans who are out of work and having a tough time, or if you know a US serviceman or woman who might benefit from a book that aims to brighten daily lives, then Rodell wants you to get in touch at storyteller@chrisrodell.com.
He doesn’t believe a book that, at its heart, aims to help people be happy should be withheld from anyone over a few dollars. “It’s said the best things in life—love, friendship, laughter—are free,” Rodell says. “I don’t presume this book is among the best things in life but, by God, there’s nothing to say it can’t keep good company.”
And finally …
“Crayons Tip no. 1001” …
“Learn the fine art of knowing precisely when to quit.”
About …
Chris Rodell is the author of six books, the most recent being “Undaunted Optimist: Essays on Life, Laughter & Cheerful Perseverance.” Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge says, “Rodell writes about life the way Sinatra sings about New York, unflinching about the gritty realities, but with abiding affection and relentless positivity abut the future.”
A swashbuckling freelance writer since 1992, Rodell has rassled alligators, raced Ferraris, jumped out of cloud-cruising airplanes and in one week gained 20 pounds eating like Elvis.
Besides unconventional biographies on Fred Rogers and Arnold Palmer, his other books include “Use All The Crayons! The Colorful Guide To Simple Human Happiness,” and “The Last Baby Boomer: The Story of the Ultimate Ghoul Pool,” a 2017 satiric novel about the life and death of the last baby boomer (winner of the ’17 TINARA Award for best satire).
He is a sought-after and entertaining motivational public speaker and as seen in this 2015 clip the recipient of the greatest author ovation of all-time.
Rodell lives in Latrobe with his wife Valerie, their daughters, Josie and Lucy, and a small loud dog named Snickers.
He’ll write for anyone who’ll pay him. He is a PROSEtitute.
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com