"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter No. 30

Today's theme ... "Spring"

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Today’s theme: Spring

Colorful Living Tip of the Day …

• People will think you’re more colorful when you remind them that Spring is when Mother Nature puts on her make-up,


Related …

• Some succeed by digging deep holes in the Earth to remove precious metals. This Spring, make it a point to succeed by digging many shallow holes and planting  seeds.

• Realize even the most successful vegetable farmers are doomed to live in the seediest parts of town.

• Spend a warm spring afternoon planting tree saplings scattered along vacant land you pass every day on your way to work. Enjoy monitoring their growth during traffic jams.

• Just bending your neck and glancing up at the clouds doesn’t count. Lie flat on the ground in a grassy field on a warm spring day and stare at the sky. It is one of the most serene and liberating feelings in the world.


Unrelated “Fruit!” randoms …

• As parents, the fruit of our loins inevitably becomes the apple or our eyes, even when they're driving us bananas.

• I woke up today again wondering if the Constitution for Concord grapes begins, "We the purple …”

 • A single apple seed weighs 700 mg but sinks. A battleship weighs 45k tons, but does not. What would happen to battleship full of apple seeds?



Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …

• Ashhole: An otherwise harmless Icelandic volcano that kills no one, but disrupts the travel plans of millions.


Today’s featured blog post …

“Winter’s over; Keith heads South” (from ’10)

I yesterday bestowed upon a truly great man an insight that nearly moved him to tears. It was Keith and he’s moving South. “Do you realize,” I said, “that you’ll probably never have to shovel snow again for as long as you live?” If I hadn’t said it in the sort of bar where people still make Brokeback Mountain jokes, I think he would have kissed me.

(read full story here)


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Oddly enough (stories from my story treasure chest) …

“Welcome to Hell (Mich.); places named after hot/cold things”

Civic boosters will swear you won’t be toast in Toast, you won’t get scalded in Hot Coffee and you can still enjoy ice cream in Hell without fear of it vaporizing. Much of America is complaining it’s hotter than hell, but the man who runs Hell’s ice cream shop says the scare-a-mel’s maintaining its gooey consistency.John Colone of Scream’s Ice Cream in Hell, Michigan, says, “It’s always busy because more people are told to go to Hell than any other town in the world.”

(Read full story here ...)


Concluding words …

 • In a crowded mall parking lot with someone tailing you, deliberately pass up a prime spot and go straight to the farthest reaches of the lot. The walk will do you good and some stranger will skip through the rest of the day bragging about the great spot he or she nailed right next to the front door.


All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com


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