"Use All The Crayons!" newsletter no. 86

Today's theme ... "Eats"

Today’s theme: Eats

Related blog post …

“The week I ate like Elvis,” April ’04

Ever since the week I ate like Elvis, I’ve always tried to promote Eats Like Elvis as the name for a punk band. I just don’t see how it could miss. I’ve spent a good deal of this week thinking of my culinary apocalypse after an unbeckoned e-mail from the Southern Food and Beverage Museum in New Orleans sailed into my computer. It read: “Southern Fried Elvis,” an exhibition of eight cookbooks that focus on the food eaten by the late King of Rock and Roll, opens to the public on Friday, April 24, 2009. I hope if this kind of thing ever happens again, someone will have the insight to invite me to serve on a panel. I could detail my experiences from when I ate like Elvis.

(Full story here)

This week’s Instagram medley

Eats …

• Colorful people find it impossible to eat a whole carrot without at least once saying aloud, “Eh. … What’s up, Doc?”

• Ask fitness fanatics if dire situations required the deed, what part of themselves would they eat first. Most fun with vegetarian fitness fanatics.

• It’ll be beneficial to both your healthfulness and disposition if you eat meals at places where food is prepared, rather than merely assembled.

• How come I can eat 50 regular Peeps in one sitting, but the thought of sitting down to eat a steak-sized Peep turns my stomach?

• Problem: plastics clogging the ocean; fish eat the plastics and we eat the fish. This may sound naive, but is anyone looking into the possibilities of making plastic out of fish food?

• Call me a snob, but I'll always prefer eating at restaurants that sell me food that gives me gas to places that offer food and sell me gas.

• In the future, hunger will be eliminated when Mark Zuckerberg develops a way to turn Facebook food pictures into actual meals.

• I have to imagine a country named Togo has really great take-out food.

Unrelated …

• How come the only time you hear of a damsel is when she's in distress? I hope to one day see a damsel in, say, a laundromat.

• World’s greatest sales people must work for Spam. Think of the intrinsic hurdles they must overcome just to get calls/e-mails returned.

• My problem with nuts in a nutshell is that nuts come in shells.

• Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …

Garbohydrates: Dangerous calories so reclusive that even doctors cannot detect them until they make you so sick you vant to be alone.

• Author’s note …

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