Today’s “Cyber Monday” theme … Computers ’n’ Shit”
Today’s related blog post (from ’14) … “Results of my Weekend Crashes (computer and car)”
• Video of the Week: Want to see what I look like when I’m scared shitless? Here’s a ’13 video of me jumping off the 890-foot SkyJump at The Stratosphere in Las Vegas. I’ve twice gone skydiving when I was younger. This happened months after I’d turned 50 and was much scarier.
• Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into an actual dictionary) …
Furrious: The unstable state of mind hunters get in whenever they hear about the latest attention grabbing stunt by animal rights group PETA.
Computer
• On this Cyber Monday, I’d like to pay homage to our computer overlords by vowing to never again use the phrase “command” when it comes to me and computers. It’s more accurate for me to from now on call “commands” “suggestions.”
• Ask jarringly innocent questions — “Could it be the spark plugs?” — of tech people during the interminable time waiting for the busted computer to reboot. Not only will it shake them out of their stupors, it’ll let them understand they really need to keep things simple when trying to solve your infernal computer problems.
• Most of our smart phones store so much stupid crap that dropping them down the toilet actually makes logistical sense. If it happens to you, don’t let it bum you out.
• Wonder if malicious hackers spread computer viruses, then what kind of person spreads computer allergies?
• If you combine all the time I spend waiting for computers to load properly, I could have probably invented a computer that loads properly.
• Has the advent of ubiquitous smart phones has meant the death of the rhetorical question?
• Be Napoleonic. He only opened his mail once a month, sure the passage of time would resolve nearly every issue. Resist the urge to constantly check your smart phone.
Unrelated …
• As parents, the fruit of our loins inevitably becomes the apple or our eyes, even when they're driving us bananas.
• I wonder how often Hell has Congeniality contests and how long it’ll be before Bill Cosby wins.
• I wonder if there are any sloths who are disparaged by other sloths for laziness. Like, “I may be a sloth but Phil, man, he’s really lazy.”
• Author’s note …
Need some books for Cyber Monday? I think I know a guy who knows a guy …