"Use All The Crayons!" No. 15
Today's theme is ... "Space"
5 Reasons to Make You Smile/1 to Make You Think (and that’s just in the 1st 150 words!!!)
Today’s theme: Space
Colorful Living Tip of the Day …
Speculate on how long it’ll be before the number of earthlings living in space outnumber the number of earthlings living on earth.
Random related …
• NASA probes continue to scan the cosmos for evidence of planets with life-sustaining water. Life-sustaining? Listen, most of us aren’t going anywhere until they find a planet with life-sustaining pizza.
• Ask friends what they call earthquakes on other planets.
• Tell friends that the literalist in you becomes furious whenever it realizes the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum has both walls and ceilings.
• Colorful people commit to memory the sun is 92,960,000 miles from Earth so on really cold days they can swear it feels more like 92,960,002.
• Colorful Conversation Starter: Point out to friends that a kid napping is one of the world’s most joyful occasions, while a kidnapping is one of the worst. Then exalt, “Behold the power of the space bar!”
2nd Random Shakespeare reference this week …
• Shakespeare succeeded without the services of a press agent. Go ahead and check the history books. There's no such thing as Bard publicity.
Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …
Bornograher: An amateur cinematographer, usually a male who was involved in the act of conception, who in a hospital delivery room spends his time recording all the intimate details of a child’s birth; resulting film is bornography
Spotlight video …
In ’14, I asked 70 people who’d attended my talk to say in 20 words or less what they thought. Includes cameos by my late mother, the late Boris Yeltsin, the late Arnold Palmer and the still living, but often late Bill Clinton. Check it out right here …
Today’s Feature Post
“We all needs some space” (from ’12)
This is how sentences would appear if spaces were approximately as long as space bars.
Kinda cool, huh.
We all know how difficult reading is today, what with spaces being so stingy that sentences goose step along in martial fashion. Left! Right! Left!
It’s so much easier to sit and watch something on a glowing screen until warm drool puddles the pillows beneath our weary heads.
That’s why I’m advocating extending spaces from one anorexic character to about five or six. It’ll give the eyeball a little breather before it has to tackle the challenge of puzzling out how to spell yet another tedious word.
I adore my space bar, almost as much as the bars that over-serve me alcoholic refreshments until my behavior becomes what can best be described as spacey.
Read extended version here …
Related posts …
Earth’s plans to occupy Kepler-22b
Today’s space program needs nudity
NASA flagged for excessive celebrating
Capt. Mark Kelly: One heavenly hubby
(Upcoming topics include “Crime,” “The Sexes,” “Beard,” and “Monkey.”)
Oddly enough (stories from my story treasure chest) …
Maine company soaking up profits from urine harvests
You can wind up piss poor in any field, but only in the lucrative niche field of urine harvesting can someone wind up piss rich. A Bangor, Maine, firm named Predator Pee is the leading harvester and distributor of wild animal urines used for hunting, training and animal control purposes. Predator Pee began marketing wild animal urines in 1986 and unabashedly boasts on www.predatorpee.com, “No one knows urine like we do, we've been in the pee business a long time!” The site encourages readers to immerse themselves in the urine industry and wade into a field that boasts straight-faced about what a wonderful puddle of “Butterfly Pee” can do for you.
The Page 1 “Crayons!” Pledge (still applies)
The Book Is STILL Free
That’s right. Free. Anyone who wants a copy mailed to his or her home, no charge, is welcome to one. Just ask.
Author Chris Rodell, of course, encourages you to buy it and hopes you’ll support him and the people who distribute, promote and sell books. But if you’re one of those Americans who are out of work and having a tough time, or if you know a US serviceman or woman who might benefit from a book that aims to brighten daily lives, then Rodell wants you to get in touch at storyteller@chrisrodell.com.
He doesn’t believe a book that, at its heart, aims to help people be happy should be withheld from anyone over a few dollars. “It’s said the best things in life—love, friendship, laughter—are free,” Rodell says. “I don’t presume this book is among the best things in life but, by God, there’s nothing to say it can’t keep good company.”
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com
Nice... enjoyed the space section!
My husband’s late grandmother, who has been described as a “rascal,” used to intone stuff like: “She sits among the cabbages and peas.” Pretty daring stuff for the 1920s. She would probably like your story, in fact, all your stories.