"Use All The Crayons!" No. 18

Today's theme ... "Mirrors"

New 45-second video! “Why you should gaze into the mirror — with your eyes closed!”


Today’s theme:


Colorful Living Tip of the Day (I) …

If mirrors had souls, you can rest assured they'd be reflective.

Random related …

• How come evil and devil don’t rhyme, but beer and mirror do? Oh, beer, is there anything you can’t do?

• Ask people which will soar higher when we begin celebrating National No One Looks in Mirror Day: our productivity or collegial revulsion at seeing each other’s natural looks?

• Point out that in movies most cars don’t have rearview mirrors. But they still have the little window dot that used to secure the star-obscuring mirror.

Random reflections on … bacon!

• Understand when someone saves your bacon, they're saving it so they can eat it themselves later. Bacon makes people selfish.

• Scientists will one day announce they've  developed animal herd made completely of bacon. Herd will become extinct 4 minutes later.

• As a student of history, it's my understanding that man has waged war over injustice, territory, greed, vengeance, pride, and even reasons as petty as national vanity. As a student of breakfast, I'm surprised man has never waged a war over bacon. I'd enlist.

Zeitgust Word of the Week (a word I made up with the goal of getting it into a dictionary) …

Ernie Borgten: What we’ve been looking for since 2012 after the great actor Ernie Borgnine, 92, finally succumbed to his mortal absolutes.

Today’s Feature Post

“Mirrors! Mirrors! On the wall!” (from ’11)

I dreamed last night of a world where all mankind was free of time’s tyranny, an age when leisure reigned and all were at liberty to engage in endless recreation and cerebral improvement. And today I’m going to help launch that age by embarking on a mirror-smashing crusade. Any ensuing bad luck will be offset by usefully harvesting all the time now wasted judgmentally staring into mirrors. We as a society are obsessed with appearance and mirrors are to blame. They are everywhere.

Read extended version here

Unrelated silliness … 

My facial procedure & aversion to big ass needles

Honked off about Egyptian nose jobs

OctoMom update & other distractions

Must-see movie review: “Whiplash,” (2014) — Who knew the Farmer’s Insurance guy (JK Simmons) is one of our finest actors? Simmons plays a perfectionist jazz instructor, a manaical Ahab, out to wring genius from a yearning pupil (Miles Teller). Best use of profanity since “Slapshot.”

(Upcoming topics include “Love,” “Theft,” “Grooming,” and “Monkey.”)

Oddly enough (stories from my story treasure chest) …

Which Way to most confusing town in America

In these times of tumult and upheaval, it is easy to feel bereft. But where should you go when you’re sure you’ve lost your way? You might want to start in Lake Jackson, Texas. One peek at the local map and you realize, truly, Lake Jackson’s the way to go. “We have This Way, That Way, Any Way, Circle Way, Parking Way, Winding Way and we have His Way, which runs behind a church,” says long-time city manager Bill Yenne. About 50 miles south of Houston, Lake Jackson, pop. 26,849, is to sensible civic planning what Abbott & Costello are to baseball play-by-play schtick. “It’s not uncommon to give people directions that include some variation of, ‘Take This Way three blocks and make a left on That Way until you get to Any Way,’ which invariably provokes the confused response, ‘Which way?’ Yenne says. “That’s when you have to correct them and say, “No, that would be the wrong way.’”

Read full story here

“Use All The Crayons!” tip no. 1,001:

Learn the fine art of knowing precisely when to quit.

All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com

Leave a comment