"Use All The Crayons!" Random randoms
I’m at the point in editing my own book where I’ve read it so carefully, so many times, you just hate the book for existing and yourself for having created it.
Yet, it’s one of my favorite parts of the process. That’s because you become utterly ruthless about what to cut. If any line seems flat … off with its head!
It’s a huge step in assuring what remains positively shimmers.
At least that’s the goal.
I’m thinking this book is a real wild card. I’ll let you know when ut’s available for purchase and how many bulk copies you’ll need to purchase to maintain our friendship.
Kidding! Nothing you can say or do about any of work will rupture my regard for you.
No theme today. We’re in between seasons so I’m too scatterbrained to focus on anything narrow or restricting. But do we really need that?
• I used to think I had a brain but it was all in my head.
• If a handwriting expert said analysis of your signature indicated it was likely that you're an obnoxious asshole, would you vow to become a better person or simply begin altering your signature?
• One of the great oddities of the human existence is that many otherwise mature adults will answer in the affirmative when asked, "Do you want to see something disgusting?”
• Paleontologists dedicate themselves to working with dinosaur bones. Paleontologist is a difficult word to spell. Does anyone suppose paleontologists would object if we all started calling them boners?
• Some words have too many meanings. Like volume (a collection, bulk, strength); or record (recall, an album, etc.) & I'm not touching cock.
• I’m intent on volunteering for the Peace Corps in the hopes they’ll assign me to do hydro-electric work in third-world countries so one day I can say with concrete justification I once really gave a dam.
• Not saying local volunteer fire fighters join for purely social aspects, but it is suspicious the town whore house catches fire every Friday at 8 p.m.
• Ants eat sticks, dirt, decomposing bodies and even poop. My question: Which of their six arms do they use to comfort themselves when they get a tummy ache?
• I thought about taking my watch apart to count all the pieces, but just don't have the time to kill.
• My way to really stick it to the publishing industry. I'm calling my next work, "The Big Hands-On Book of Glues & Other Adhesives," so every review will have to include the words, "Could Not Put it Down!”
• I hope I never need the info, but because you just never know: what do you yell when you see a tall duck about to hit his head on a low branch and how badly confused would the hapless fowl be if you yelled, “Duck!"
Did any of these make you laugh? Think? Please consider subscribing or sending me a dough-nation.