"Use All The Crayons!" ... SMOKE

Thanks to those of you who responded to my plea for funds..The full story of my insolvency has yet to be told. The shame is nearly all my debts are the result of me trying to become successful at what I do. This is depressing on two counts. One, the trends that led to owing money seem to be built into the body. They’re the bones of the business. Second, and this one really hurts, there are no illicit tales involving hookers, trips to Vegas or hallucinogens with women known as Moon Beam. Any of these scenarios would lead to better stories than the truth.

Another thing: The donations come in blind. If Stripe has an identity notification feature it  has eluded me. So I am as if now unable to acknowledge your generosity (unless you’re old-fashioned and drop a check in the mail!).

I’ve had some experts advise me to impose an exclusivity on the newsletter; only send to those who pay. No way I’m doing that. I’d lose about 75 percent of my subscribers.

So I hope those of you who do subsidize my efforts through your donations feel some pride at sponsoring for those who do not.

And some day I’ll figure for sure who’s donating what. And on that day I’ll come over and wash your car while you sip lemonade in the hazy shade.

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Today’s theme …. SMOKE!

• I one day hope to meet a smokin' hot geologist dedicated to volcanic studies whose name is Ashley Firestone.

• Being a student of communications, I have a lot of questions about what to me is one of the most fascinating methods of all-time. I'm talking the smoke signal. What were the parental controls ("Look away! Look away!")? Did shifting winds lead to historic misreads ("I can say with near certainty the Indians won't attack today, Gen. Custer.)?" And how many petty annoyances do we still share some 200 years later, ("Can I bum your lighter? It's asking me to change my password ... AGAIN!")

• All you need to know about man is 1st match was invented in 1836; 1st smoke detector, 1956. Don't get me started on birth control.

• In a world that made perfect sense the saying would be, "Where there's smoke there's a cigar. And bourbon.”

• Facebook is like what happens in junior high school classes when the teacher leaves the room to sneak a smoke.

• All you need to know about the taste possibilities of broccoli is no ones ever tried to smoke it or use it to make wine.

• I encourage all Americans to vote tomorrow! And drink, get laid, smoke some weed and do something to calm the hell down. We're obnoxious.

• Marijuana smokers who succumb to repeated bouts of the munchies are apt to get pot bellies.

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RANDOMS

• I consider it yet another degradation of once-proud men, but I'm upset how what I once called "the family jewels" somehow became "my junk." From jewels to junk in three short decades. SAD!

• Which is more confounding? That you’ve become the person you are today or that the person you’ve become today is the exact same person you used to mock when you were the person you used to be.

• I live in a house with 3 sassy women. And I'm under a constant barrage by boneheads eager to engage me in provocative political and social arguments. I hold my tongue so much it's a wonder my fingertips don't have tastebuds.

• I read because I'm convinced the more I have in my mind the less I'll have on it.

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Please consider supporting me with some tangible appreciation (PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650).

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Honey, they shrunk me to smaller than a golf ball!