"Use All The Crayons!" ... Spring
Here’s a compilation of some of my better Instagram bits from the past month. Insta funnies …
Starting an aggressive advertising push to keep the “Use All The Crayons!” podcast up and running. Tomorrow I’ll be recording the 24th episode of what I’m now considering a trial run. What’s the verdict? Guilty … of being fun! It’s mostly been just me talking and it is my intention to change that with more interviews and more local voices. But people seem to be diggin’ the content. I can believe it. I was diggin’ doin’ it. It’s been a fascinating life and I’m thrilled I got to live it. Just sorry it didn’t pay better.
Haven’t checked it out yet? All episodes can be accessed through this portal.
I value all my readers, but today I want to give a shout out to a couple who prove again and again they value me. Thanks Kirk Baser and Jim Saunders for being scrupulous and consistent in your support of my efforts. There are others — and if you’re one of them, thank you! — but Kirk and Jim stand out for being outstanding. Thanks, men!
And thank everyone who takes the time to read and to refer it to others.
Spring
• Remind friends that Spring is when Mother Nature puts on her make-up.
• Just bending your neck and glancing up at the clouds doesn’t count. Lie flat on the ground in a grassy field on a warm spring day and stare at the sky. It is one of the most serene and liberating feelings in the world.
• Spend a warm spring afternoon planting tree saplings scattered along vacant land you pass every day on your way to work. Enjoy monitoring their growth during traffic jams.
• Because I'm an apostle of gross excess, I propose we have #Olympics once each year by adding Fall/Spring Olympics.
• Mulch! Mow! Plant! Prune! Repeat! If we devoted as much time to understanding one another as we do to lawn care things like checking out opposing Facebook views wouldn't be so nerve-wracking.
• Some succeed by digging deep holes in the Earth to remove precious metals. If I ever succeed it’ll be ‘cause I’ve dug many shallow holes & planted seeds.
• I’m on the verge of proving once and for all my office plants are talking to one another. But every time I get close enough to record the conversation the bully ficus says, "Shut up! Here he comes again!" I'll not rest until I get conclusive evidence. Won't work either.
RANDOMS …
• I remember seeing a story that asked prominent writers to name works they wish they'd written. Answers included "To Kill a Mockingbird," "Grapes of Wrath," etc. Me? I wish I'd coined the phrase "Butt dial.”
• I hate it when I fake a mild cold to get out of some petty obligation and people look and me and say, "Yeah, you look terrible! I'll call 911. There's something really wrong with you. You oughta be quarantined! Medic! Medic!" Makes me sick.
• The American Flag: Three colors, countless threads.
• What would happen to the criminal justice system if it was declared that from now on a "jury of our peers" was comprised entirely of the cheerful lunatics drawn from "The Price Is Right" studio audience?
• I’m going to name our next dog "Gusto" so I can spend my days lounging on my couch drinking beer and still contend I'm living with Gusto.
• There are evident novelty advantages to riding a magic carpet, but until they provide some necessary lumbar support the concept will always be flawed.
Thanks to those of you who recently showed your support by sending cash or the equivalent to me at PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650).
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com