"Use All The Crayons! ... Today's Theme: "Heat Wave"
Very much enjoyed seeing “Barbenheimer” this week. Saw “Oppenheimer” at the theatre And “Barbi” at the drive-in.
Take that, streaming bullies.
Quick thoughts on both:
If most men are being honest -- a big "if" -- we'd admit to seeing a lot of ourselves in Ken while aspiring to see just a little of ourselves in Barbie. I really enjoyed it. Thoughtful and funny.
“Oppenheimer” is tremendous. Still, during the whole 3-hour movie I kept wondering, "Okay, when's John Goodman going to show up?" Used to be, any movie with this many male white guy roles automatically came with John Goodman. He was in everything. What happened? He lost 200 pounds or the equivalent of two whole Timothee Chalamets. I guess he lost the chunks of himself that made him irresistible to directors. Funny town, that Hollywood. It's where anorexic actresses fret over gaining a single pound and a truly great character loses his career by losing 200 of them.
And, by the way, small town teens who idolize Hollywood anorexics should be called “slimitators."
Lastly, as good a film as it is, "Oppenheimer" is another example of a 3-hour movie that could have been done just as well in 2. On movie length, I come down on the side of Alfred Hitchcock, who said “no public presentation should extend longer than the duration of the human bladder.” And, yes, part of the argument's appeal is that a point about urinary matters comes from a man whose name includes the word cock.
TODAY’S THEME … HEAT WAVE
• Hearing people judge those who attend hurricane parties always cracks me up. This is Planet Earth 2023. Climate change, drought, injustice, partisan rancor -- and most of us remain by choice oblivious to it all. It's one big Hurricane Party and we're all standing in line while the bartender cuts citrus fruit garnish. Party on.
• That scientists say Earth is 4.5 billion years old only adds poignant urgency to the timely challenge of reversing Climate Change. Anything that's 4.5 billion years old and still seemS too young to die is bound to be pretty special.
• It is my contention that one of the most devastating aspects of climate change -- catastrophic rise in sea levels -- could be eliminated if all these massive water displacing cargo ships were simultaneously removed from the water.
• Climate change, lousy air quality, unsightly rubbish piles ... if Earth were an apartment we'd be at risk of losing our deposit.
• Unforeseen climate change consequence is polar bears will soon need row boats. It's going to be toughest on row boat salespeople.
• Nero is historically decried for fiddling while Rome burned. That'll never happen to today's leaders in regards to climate crisis. They think the solution is … fireproof fiddles!
• Catastrophic rise in ocean depth due to climate change will in the future be offset by UN mandate that every home in every developed nation have a backyard saltwater pool that's at least 500 feet deep.
• Climate change alarmists fret heatwave is causing the roads to melt. I told them the roads in France are melting because they're made of ice cream! Then I did a little research and learned French do NOT make their roads out of ice cream. They make them out of … road! Uh oh …
RANDOMS …
• ”... and on the seventh day, He rested." See, God may have created Heaven and Earth, but in His infinity wisdom He knew better than to create a lawn that would need mowing every Sunday.
• I do not like eating outside. I do not like heat. I do not like noise. I do not like sharing my meal with things that sting. History lesson: Outside is the reason man invented inside.
• It’s rare to find an ice cube that's actually cubic. In fact, most ice is rhombus shaped. It's ironic, but saying ice rhombus wouldn't sound cool even though it's all ice ... Had to get that off my chest.
• I know it's unrefined for someone who aspires to sophistication of manners, but I sometimes wolf down my meals. My daughters are far daintier. It's more like they poodle theirs down. "Poodle Down!" would be a great name for some don't ask/don't tell military rom-com.
• It’s entirely possible to kick a squirrel right in the nuts and hurt only his feelings. Hers, too.