"Use All The Crayons!" ... Vision
I’ll be speaking Saturday, March 25, 1 pm, at the Ligonier Valley Library. Topic? Ten years, six books. It was in 2023 that I began to think like an actual author. So how’s that working out? I’ve published two novels, two offbeat bios, and two self-help-ish sorts of books. But when people ask what kind of books I write, I respond, “My books are all murder-mysteries. It’s a mystery why they’re not successful and the realization that they’re not is killing me.” So come to Ligonier March 25. Enjoy a bite to eat at one of the town’s many fine restaurants, come hear me talk, then we’ll all go out and have a drink.
My friends at Latrobe Bulletin will be interviewing me Friday for a feature story to run next week.
Still looking to boost my review tally. If you struggle with writing, get in touch with me and I’ll write it — in your words — then ship it back to you, Then it’s off to amazon. And if you’re having trouble posting there, find a nephew or niece or some other tech-savvy kid to assist. Right now, reviews matter more to me than sales.
Today’s theme …. Vision
• When people ask why I consider myself visionary, I say it’s because I can envision a day when all our nipples are rectangular.
• I’d like to see how a proctologist responds when angry patient tells him bill's too high and he knows what he can do with it.
• Given publishing trends, I can envision a day when angry judges bent on bestowing severe punishment will scold miscreants and then throw the Nook at them.
• Nostradamus used his visionary mind to predict the future. A seer who does the same thing using only a keen sense of smell is Nostrildamus.
• Do fundamentalist climate change deniers see any irony in having sons named Noah?
• Speculators envision a day when toilet paper is traded like coffee, milk or other commodities. They are mistaken. Toilet paper cannot become a commodity. Toilet paper is a commode-ity.
• Women look in mirror and see flaws others cannot detect; men look in same mirror and see perfection others cannot detect.
• Enjoyed "Walking Dead" premier, but once for the sake authenticity I'd like to see a cliffhanger that ends with someone hanging from a cliff.
• I sometimes believe a day will come when I feel like a futurist, but I predict the feeling will pass.
• Can't prove it, but I'll wager Superman was the first person to ever say, "I see London, I see France ..."
Randoms …
• America’s endured so much historic trouble from Iran and Iraq, I'm just relieved I don't look at the map and see an Irab, Irat, Iraz, etc.
• Our most aggravating frustrations stem from times when we demand perfection from those incapable of providing it.
• I’ve done like the financial wizards advised. I've had nest eggs. The problem is they've always hatched and flown away.
• As I intend to break bread with family tomorrow, can anyone tell me if broken bread is offensive to the food ethicists?
I welcome your donations. Please consider supporting me with some tangible appreciation (PayPal, Venmo, 874 Solomon Temple Rd., Latrobe, Pa, 15650).
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com
