Related post … “Time on my hands (& everywhere else)”
Super excited to be back on Sirius XM/Road Dog Trucker radio to talk "Evan & Elle in Heaven & Hell" with my friend Michael Burns (Sat., 10 am). I know, 30 minutes of me talking about eternity is going to seem like an, well, you know …
Time
• Foolish mortals. You think you can tell time. Time tells you!
• Tell friends you were thinking about taking your watch apart to count all the pieces, but realized you didn't have the time to kill.
• Be Napoleonic. He only opened his mail once a month, sure the passage of time would resolve nearly every issue. Resist the urge to constantly check your smart phone.
• Complaining about not having time to read is like complaining about not having time for sex. Anyone who doesn’t have time for free, soulful fun has the wrong priorities.
• Tell friends you think being a Big Ben tour guide would be time consuming because all must work ’round the clock.
• If they gave the death sentence for killing time could you live forever?
• The new Rt. 30 Sheetz near Latrobe is being constructed so quickly I wonder if the bread'll have enough time to get properly stale.
• Some projections maintain coronavirus self-quarantine could last another interminable 18 month. Months, days & endless hour after endless hour ... still not enough time to make me ever want to sit through "The Irishman" again.
• Because fickle publishing industry insists it is looking for timeless books, my next novel is going to be about a broken clock.
• A horologist (sounds just like it looks) is expert at making watches and clocks and is consumed with all the elements of time. A whoreologist's study is built around mostly hourly increments.
• Time, it is said with admiring wonder, can heal all wounds, a statement that seems to bestow time with god-like powers. Oh, yeah? I'd like to see time fix a busted watch.
• Eternity means having all the time all the time …
Randoms …
• I’m so convinced I'll one day die of random gunfire I'm thinking of getting a bullseye chest tattoo just to give the morgue folks a good story.
• I always feel like I'm really gettin' away with something when I watch a "Mature Audiences Only" program and the smart TV doesn't explode.
• I never really thought about being a podiatrist, but I once repaired an Apple music device. I guess that makes me an iPodiatrist.
• I’d like to see a sensational trial where a Samsonite exec is accused of killing her boyfriend, a VP at Away luggage, just to hear crime pundits say, "There's still a lot to unpack, but I think we're looking at a real open 'n' shut case here.”
• Someone will one day identify an exclusively male condition in which men convince themselves they alone possess the virility and sex appeal to, if needed, re-populate the entire planet. These men are “egoTESTicle."
All Chris’s books can be purchased through www.ChrisRodell.com